happiness is real when shared

2012-02-28T09:39:00.001-08:00

it's national pancake day.
i just learned his secret ingredient.

i sleep in fits. i wake up and smell my baby's head in the middle of the night for proof that this is all real. life is happening anyway, without all of us onboard. that so easy one day it could all be gone. we could be all alone, on either side of the thin lifeline.

i could rage against the ways of fate in the inequity of it all. but it's national pancake day. such a blunt way of the world reminding me that he isn't left on the shore as we sail away with our arms reaching out off the back of the boat, trying to grasp reaching fingertips.

everytime we eat a pancake or plant a seed or catch a fish or blink our eyes or exist in some way, he is a shadow on the wall a pulse in our hearts, some of the fibers of our very being. they're not gone.

that's how this whole thing works. someone finds someone and someone is made. and that someone meets someone new and their threads are stitched together into another someone new. and that someone new goes forth without all of the other someones that came before. and perhaps that's the hardest part about being a someone to someone. the going forth. the young ones grow up. the old ones pass on. the unhappy ones find other ones. but in all of that, the weaving back and forth cannot be undone. and perhaps that is the only way we can live fully.

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath
No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again
-Regina Spektor

2012-02-26T06:00:00.001-08:00

My grandfather passed away.

He taught us how to bait our own hooks and grow sweet snap peas.
He instilled an important amount of competitiveness in us, from his many days of coaching.
He played golf with the guys every Sunday and listened the Lady Gaga in the car.
He made the best pancakes and the crispest fresh, fried fish.
From him, we all learned how to catch a crab with just a net and to dig clams with just our toes.
He was a tough guy with a heart of gold.
And I'll miss him.

rules for moms of boys, 2, 3, 4

2012-02-09T05:45:00.000-08:00

{note: yes, these apply to girls, too.}

Source: flickr.com via Erin on Pinterest

rule 1: put them outside.

2. teach them to cook

one day your little guy will be living on his own; in a college dorm or a London flat or his first house. you will give him the love and support and knowledge he needs for his soul to be nourished, but don't forget his belly! mac and cheese and microwaves can only go so far. and besides, the ability to cook is an attractive asset for a man!

3. let them play in the puddles

boys are attracted to puddles, messes, mud, dirt. let them play. let them discover, explore, get messy. they'll learn that there's nothing a good bath can't fix.

4. bring them to the theater, the art museum, the concert hall, and the sports arena

at my baby shower, i was shocked at how many sports-themed gifts wyeth received. john never played a sport in his entire life and while i played a few, it's certainly not a big part of our lives. but here in the usa, boys = sports. and perhaps. but boys can be dancers or actors or artists or musicians, and that's just as "manly" as a quarterback. expose your boys to as many aspects of masculinity as possible and let them define it.

money matters

2012-02-08T10:30:00.000-08:00

Oh, no-spend February!

7 days in and I've failed so many times!

i failed on friday and gave in to having lunch with a coworker. all i could taste was guilt and failure.

AND i failed by buying myself a cocktail on saturday night.

AND i failed when visiting a friend, i picked up starbucks for both of us.

AND i bought a toy storage unit on amazon for the boys' room.

AND i bought a huge chalkboard for our kitchen on amazon.

so much for only gifts, groceries, and gas!

i have resisted the temptation to stop at 7-11

or shop online (other than the chalkboard & storage bin)

or buy any of the LivingSocial/Groupon's.

i've also made an effort to use what's already in the pantry/fridge/freezer instead of shopping.

(*last night's dinner was a total failure.)

when i do shop, it'll be via peapod to avoid impulse buys.

::::heavy sigh::::

lessons learned: stay home and off amazon.

{photo credit: here}

letters to kenson

2012-02-08T05:30:00.000-08:00

Dearest Kenson Joerger,

last night, i sat on the floor surrounded by piles of tiny clothes. they're the clothes your uncle used to wear, your brother, too. some are even from finn and wally. all were given to you, handed down, with memories and love and expectations and hope for the future. and here we are, already putting them back in the closet to be passed on to your tiny cousin joining us in april. the exchange, the passing over and through the family lines, like stitches holding it all together, weaving the fabric of family, counting the stitches of time. wherever has the time gone?

as i folded the tiny red thermal, i saw in my mind's eye your big slate blue eyes turning up as you smiled your first smile. it seems like years ago. there's something about you that is so connected to the innermost part of my being; you and i have been traveling down this road together, forever, since the beginning of time.

it's only been three months; this you and i. you are such an amazing creature, kenson. there is so much grit, determination, power in your eyes. you are strong, so very strong. you personify still water. you sit quietly as life moves past you, without complaint, observing, watching.

you're reached milestones much faster than we've expected! you've been sleeping soundly through the night for quite some time. you've smiled at us within the first weeks of your life. you hold your head up with such strength and stability. you're such a big boy, especially compared to your brother when he was your age.

that brother of yours sure does love you. he stops his play to give you a kiss. the first thing he does each morning is point towards your bassinet and let out a squeal of excitement. your papa loves you, too, son. he sees himself in you. wyeth may have captured his personality, but you look like his clone.

i sat amongst the clothes and the memories and the future and thanked God for you. we love you, sweet boy.

all my love,
mama

pinterest runs my life

2012-02-07T05:22:00.000-08:00

MONEY
pinterest is helping with my no-spend challenge.

{now i just pin all of the things i would impulsively buy. and if at the end of this month, i still really want something, i can fit them into a budgeted purchase instead of just buying any and everything whenever i feel like it!}

Source: forever21.com via Erin on Pinterest

Source: vainbuthonest.tumblr.com via Erin on Pinterest

Source: stylemepretty.com via Erin on Pinterest

FOOD
pinterest is also helping feed my family.

Source: handletheheat.com via Erin on Pinterest

Source: bhg.com via Erin on Pinterest

Source: inomthings.com via Erin on Pinterest

FUN
pinterest is also helping to entertain our family.

Source: ontobaby.com via Erin on Pinterest

Source: shannoneileenblog.typepad.com via Erin on Pinterest

Source: plbrown.blogspot.com via Erin on Pinterest

HEALTH
pinterest is also helping keep me on track at the gym.

Source: dailymile.com via Erin on Pinterest

After having two babies in less than two years, working out has become a priority. Not because my body has changed post-baby, but because I have so much respect for this thing that grew two babies from nothing but love.... then had the strength to bring them into the world without any intervention. And this body was even able to feed both of those boys for a few months. All of this makes me so very thankful for this body, so it's about time I start to take care of it. I owe my body one.

So I've started the Couch to 5K program. I hate running. HATE IT. But this program makes it so easy, so doable, so attainable. It's an 8 week program that starts with intervals of short periods of running and longer periods of walking and slowly each week decreases the walking and increases the running. There's temptation to skip the first few weeks because it's SO EASY. But don't. Let your muscles and your mind build up to the next week. Check off each interval, each week. And before you know it you'll be running without wanting to kill someone! Seriously, I no longer dread running each workout. I like it, in fact, because I feel accomplished when I'm able to complete that week's workout. And after having two natural, drug/intervention free labors, I find myself saying "Erin, you gave birth twice, you can run for one more minute." Truth.

This is the first 5K race that I'll run. Looks so fun, right?! NYC in August!

oh, ya know, just the cutest baby & a genius toddler

2012-02-03T06:03:00.000-08:00

I have the cutest baby and the smartest toddler, ever. And I have video proof.

Exhibit A:

Untitled from ERIN HUNT on Vimeo.

Exhibit B:

Untitled from ERIN HUNT on Vimeo.

:) Happy Friday, friends! :)

on Planned Parenthood, Christians, and Susan G. Komen

2012-02-02T09:11:00.000-08:00

I try to stay positive and out of politics in this space, but I'm angry. I'm angry as a woman, as a Christian, as someone who's grandmother survived two boughts of breast cancer, and as someone that avidly supported Susan G Komen.

I, in no way, understand or support Susan G. Komen's most recent decision to pull funding from Planned Parenthood.

Here's why:

My beliefs are MINE. They help form the decisions I make in MY life.

I will never have an abortion. I have a faith that leads me to believe things happen in the world for a reason, regardless of whether or not we can understand why it's happening, including an unexpected or "unwanted" pregnancy. I believe in God and divine design. But what I think should not dictate what anyone else does. A woman that sees an abortion as a viable medical procedure should have the option to pursue that in a safe way. I, personally, wish she wouldn't. But I am ME and I do not control the cosmos.  While the government certainly thinks it controls the universe, what people in political power think certainly shouldn't dictate the decisions a woman makes for herself, her body, her family, or her future either.

Planned Parenthood is a place where women can get abortions. It's also a place that provides low-cost, life saving mammoraphy services and a wealth of other services that help, empower, and heal women. If Karen Handel doesn't believe in abortions and doesn't want to support Planned Parenthood, she should go somewhere else for her healthcare. But if the Komen Foundation's mission is to help provide all women (regardless of opinion on abortion OR choice of heathcare practicioner) cancer-prevention services, then it should fund any and all organizations that are willing to do the provide those services to many, many women.

NONE of the 680,000 dollars that the Susan G. Komen Foundation gave to Planned Parenthood paid for abortion services (or any other non-breast-cancer-detecting services, for that matter.)   Planned Parenthood health centers provide about 830,000 breast exams a year. Without Komen's funding, many of women will be unable to get the screenings. Komen's lack of funding directly effect the amount of breast cancer screenings, not abortions, performed at Planned Parenthood.

As a Christian, I am frustrated at those who chose to weild their beliefs for political or social power. A true Christian recognizes that the message of Christ and the Bible is to do good, to be nice, to live an honest life to the best of our ability. "...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness..." It's sad that people can take a beautiful text and turn it into something so ugly, something so hypocritical, something so dangerous. What Lifeway has done is completely hypocritical.

As human beings, it's insane to think that our individual ideas are the only ideas, the right ideas, and that everyone else should conform to those beliefs. I see this all the time on the internet: people ruthlessly attack other's thoughts and ideas because they are different than their own. Listen: co-sleeping might be right FOR YOU, that doesn't mean it's right for everyone. Same thing with breast-feeding, natural birth, abortion, etc.  This is happening all the time now, with the 2012 election in full-swing. "Democrats are idiots!" "Republicans are jerks!" Maybe you have a different political opinion, that doesn't mean you have the right to be mean.

Go ahead and have your beliefs. Stand up for them! But there's nothing good about hurting other in your quest for righteousness; whether it's a hurtful comment or pulling funding for life-saving procedures at Planned Parenthood.

image via facebook, original source unknown

money matters

2012-02-02T07:02:00.000-08:00

i've seen the idea of a no-spend month quite often in magazines, in all things oprah, and of course all over the internet. want to save more money? spend less. got it. or so i thought.

so i didn't shop as much. but somehow we still weren't saving more money. we worked, got paid, and it went somewhere. but where? so i printed our bank statements and categorized our expenses and john and i talked. new game plan: only buy on-sale items. don't spend a lot of money. make sure there's enough in the budget before committing to social engagements (ie: dinner with friends). but the money still slipped away. a starbucks here, a few things from target clearance there, a couple of pomegranates from the grocery store because they were on sale. sale items only! cheap items only! how could we not be saving more?!

so, this month, we are taking the no-spend challenge. we want to be fully cognisant of where our hard-earned money goes. make purchases that matter, not just because we're impulsively inclined. the only spending allowed: groceries, gifts, gas.

sounds easy, right?

uhhhhhhhhh not at all. day 1 was torture.

this is how it went:

5:30am: woke up in the morning (*felt nothing like p diddy, ftr)
6:45am: drove to work, passing a 7-11 and REALLY wanting to buy a blueberry coffee and rent a DVD (drive w/the love of my life is out!) i'm not sure how i managed to dodge that bullet.

Money saved: $3 coffee, $1 roll that I wouldn't have resisted, $6 for the DVD bc let's be honest, I never return those suckers on time. Total: $10

10:00am: while on the phone with a potential vendor, i found myself on the forever21 website with all sorts of striped things in my checkout. it was painful to click out of that window.

Money saved: $47.50 plus shipping

12:00pm: lunchtime co-workers ordered wraps from the deli. i abstained although i was REALLY jealous.

Money saved: $6

2:00pm: checked email and see Groupon for this fabulous deal on a local restaurant ($50 for $25!). Realized that buying that not only meant spending money today, but again when we go to the restaurant because we have to use our Groupon. DENIED. TAKE THAT GROUPON!

Money saved: $25 (at least!)

3:00pm: drove home and the redbox outside of 7-11 beckoned to me again. it whispered "ryan gosling, ryan gosling, ryan gosling". so.much.self.discipline.

Money saved: $6, but I already counted this above.

4:00pm: bought formula, and two ingredients for dinner (cheese & frank's to make THISohmygahsogood!)

Money spent: $26.

4:30pm: went to park, saw a cute mama with a faux-leather bomber jacket. i might've looked on my phone and saw that they are ON SALE RIGHT NOW and my brain said OHMYGOD!BUYITNOW!YOU'LLNEVERHAVEANOTHERCHANCE!

Money saved: $18

6:00pm: went home, made dinner for the fam and some friends, had a lil campfire, had a glass of wine and then panicked because i don't know the rule about wine: can i buy more?!?!?!?!?!?!
10:00pm: went to bed dreaming of ryan gosling and striped things.

Total Money Saved: $106.50

ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN ONE DAY!??!?!?!?!?!?! holy Mary mother of God.

motivation to keep going. but on the wine, is that cheating, oh people of the internet? please say no. groceries, gifts, gas, and WINE.

rules for moms of boys, 1

2012-01-27T05:47:00.000-08:00

rule 1: put them outside.

via

speaking in terms of neuroscientific make-up, boys tend to be kinesthetic. this means they need to move, shake, explore, discover. the flat walls and the soft surface of your home don't do enough to entice their senses. let them splash in puddles, cover themselves in mud, pick up sticks, listen to the birds, lay in the grass. let them find, as shakespeare said, sermons in the stones. it will enliven the wild thing within.

update on the boys

2012-01-25T08:09:00.000-08:00

j. wyeth hunt iv
age: 19 months
weight: 28 pounds
height: 33 inches
tricks: he learns a new word everyday to manipulate the world around him "go!" "look!' "sit!" "no!" "more!" "go away" (learned from the song rain, rain go away. ha!) he also shrugs his shoulders, turns up his palms, and asks "where did he go?" when chasing his papa around the house. then there are the random words he spouts when he comes in contact with the object like "rock" "goat" "cow" "mama" "dada" "gramma". he doesn't say yes, but he nods his head in the funniest manner. most recently, he decided he was ready for potty training by taking off his diaper, running into the bathroom, and sitting on the toilet. he has yet to actually go in the potty, but he DID go in the bathroom. on the rug. haha!

likes: he LOVES monsters inc and toy story 2. the boy loves to shake his booty at any chance and it looks like he's doing tai chi when he dances. he has also discovered the art of jumping with both feet off the floor and does it whenever he's excited. he likes "babeeeeeeeeee" as kenson is known and likes to pet his head and give him kisses. and most of all, he loves being outside. just walking around, picking up sticks, throwing rocks, listening to the birds, pointing to the sky when a plane flies overhead.

alsos: he has eczema, which is lame. he has a cold and has been teething for the past month as his canines push through. so our perfect little sleeper has turned into a must-sleep-with-mom-and-dad every other night or so. and even though those nights start with frustration, i remind myself that someday soon our little guy won't want to be in our bed, he'll be too big for my arms to carry him out of his room, he'll be too strong to need his mama to feel better. so for now, we share. (and my neck hurts and my eyes are bloodshot as a result. :)

kenson joerger
age: 10 weeks
weight: 13 pounds
height: 24 inches {he's a big boy!}

tricks: this kid has incredible strength and head control (my doctor is convinced he's going to meet milestones early because he's so big and strong!). he can pierce right through your heart with his big, slate blue eyes. he smiles and coos all the time. and best of all, he sleeps through the night! all night! like 9pm - 5am! he hasn't woken up before 4:45 since 5 weeks! he is alert and awake and so very vibrant during the day, but come nighttime he is out like a light! oh you sweet thing, THANK YOU.

likes: he likes to move, to see, to explore. he prefers to be held facing out and is quiet and intriguied by a window or a walk in the stroller. he really likes his soy formula, which has provided quite a bit of relief after many struggles with feeding him. he likes his brother and his daddy and his mama, too.

alsos: our poor baby has been battling with reflux. at first, we thought he was just a fussy baby. but as we tried different things, patterns emerged: he spits up a lot, often; he doesn't like sitting anywhere after eating that puts pressure on his belly (like the swing or carseat); he has throaty breathing; frequent hiccups; not sleeping much during the day; gagging and other difficulties while feeding. following a great conversation with his doctor, we realized that reflux is the probable culprit. and thank GOD because we were concerned about more serious problems. and now we have a solution: zantac. our doctor isn't big on prescribing medications, but she said zantac is rather benign as far as meds go. she also said that rice cereal mixed with formula has been shown to help babies with reflux, but it goes against everything she believes in... so wait to try that. she also explained that as kj grows and is able to sit up and stand up, gravity will help his reflux, too! so we left feeling happy and confident about kenson's health and happiness! yay!

choose magic

2012-01-20T06:32:00.000-08:00

when our alarm went off this morning, i wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, all day, with john and the boys. i haven't been feeling well, i haven't been sleeping well, i've been working hard, our house is a mess, finances are stressful, the world is cold and ugly and i just wanted to stay in bed. cue the pouting and the eye rolling and the stomping around and the heavy breathing and the full on teenage girl grouch.  good. morning.

but life marches on, despite my bad attitude. the commotion and the noise and the mess of life was in full force at 5:45am.   the whirlwind of the morning swept us out of bed and through the house and out the door.

and then the magic happened:

wyeth saw the quarter inch of snow we had gotten over night.

he stopped in his tracks. his perfect little mouth with his big, angelina lips formed the most genuine "woooooooooowwwwwwwwwww".  his sleepy eyes sparkled with awe in the darkness of the early morning. he let the beauty of it all sink in before he took off onto the lawn. he spun in circles with his arms out, he kicked the snow and marched along and ran in circles shouting out shrieks of pure joy and the biggest belly laughs a 19 month old could muster.

my grumpiness melted as quickly as that small amount of snow will later. and i realized: we are so lucky. we are lucky to have these jobs, even if we don't have as much time to be together. we are lucky to have these magical little children who incessantly remind us of all the beauty that exists in the world. we are lucky to have this house to raise a family and to share with our friends and extended family. we are lucky to have the ability to read our kids books at night in the warmth of their room. we are lucky for our health and our love and frankly, our lives. it's all too fleeting, too fragile, too transitory to be anything but grateful.

maybe that's overly idealistic to some. or too unrealistic. but we are given a choice each morning: to be pissed that the snow is going to make our commute a little longer, or be amazed at the magic of it all.

i choose magic.

bear witness

2012-01-19T07:40:00.001-08:00

as each day moves by in the lives of these ever changing boys, I find myself full of immense gratitude that I have the opportunity to bear witness to their relationship as it unfolds. my heart swells with pride and love and joy.

2012-01-18T05:28:00.001-08:00

compare contrast

2012-01-17T10:10:00.001-08:00

be still my heart

2012-01-16T06:52:00.000-08:00

this video alone just might prove i am the luckiest person alive. i dare you not to smile while watching this.

Rules for Moms of Boys

2012-01-13T05:16:00.000-08:00

this post has made its way around the internet and into the hearts of all mamas and daddies of little girls. more recently, this post has been sent to me a few times with a "hey, thought you'd like this" attached. i've kept myself from reading the whole post as i've had something similar in my drafts for some time. but i felt silly, my oldest boy is only a year and a half old. what do i really know about raising boys besides the very short experience i've had with mine?

but then i recognized that i have, in fact, been a mother to many, many boys. there's my godson, whose birth i witnessed with teary eyes and whose tiny face i've watched morphed into a reflection of the future. there's jonas, the little boy to whom i gave a piece of my heart in tanzania. there's my little brother, who i watched draw army men and yearn to be naked and to find the hilarity in all bodily functions and who has grown into a man any mother would be proud of. and there are my former students who called me their mother, to whom i gave my time, patience, worry, and love. all of these boys became the sons i thought i could never have. i became a mother in any way i could. then God blessed me with these two boys who fill my every waking moment with gratitude....

and so many i can say a few things about what i've learned about being a mom to boys, with the absolute honesty that these ideas will change and grow over the next lifetime as i change and grow as a mom of boys.

so coming soon: rules for moms of boys.

(ps- thanks to everyone who forwarded me the link and encouraged me to write my own! xo)

2012-01-11T08:52:00.001-08:00

lullaby

2012-01-11T08:44:00.000-08:00

every night, i hold my babies tight and whisper prayers and thanks and love into their ears. then i rock back and forth and sing them to sleep. lately, this has been our favorite:

My Dear Boys:

There's nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love.

Always and forever and ever,
Mama

welcome 2012

2012-01-01T14:17:00.001-08:00

this is what I resolve to do this year:

play
laugh
pray
share
cuddle
comfort
love

2011: a year in review

2011-12-27T20:10:00.000-08:00

2011 is without a doubt the best year of my life, and our lives as a family, so far on this crazy journey. we celebrated our second year of marriage, watched our eldest son take his first steps in disney, grew our newest son and welcomed him into the world, john completed a major portion of his school building leader license, we said goodbye a few too many times, but held on to each other a little more closely because of it. and all in all, this year has been full of family, full of love, and full of unexpected blessings. we love you 2011: you'll always be so special in our hearts and our stories, but we are excited to welcome 2012.

january 2011: we welcomed in the new year with a ton of hope in our hearts.

february 2011: we watched our boy and our love grow.

march 2011: we discovered there was a new little life growing in my belly, on st. patrick's day of 2011. (this video still makes me cry)

april 2011: we took the most amazing family vacation to san francisco and the napa valley with our dearest friends. it restored the soul and gave us the peace and serenity to fully recognize our blessings.

may 2011: john wyeth turned one! i flew to cincinnati to be with longtime friends to celebrate the love of blake and gregg. john and i celebrated our second wedding anniversary (i've been pregnant for both of them!)

june 2011: we discovered that my maternal instincts were totally wrong and that november baby would be a BOY!

july 2011: we went to disney and wyeth took his first steps. we were surrounded by all of john's sisters and their families (except for young kev who was serving in afghanistan: thank you for your sacrifice!) we also went sailing. we had barbeques. we stayed up late around campfires with friends. we were so very alive.

august 2011: we went to lake george as a family and left with unexpected, sad news. we went on to celebrate the love of ryan and lou. i danced, we laughed, and our hugs lingered a little longer when we said goodbye to friends. and we hung on to each moment and made it through watching the wonder in wyeth's eyes.

september 2011: we all danced at bradstock. we said goodbye to our dearest malin. and we waited for kenson.

october 2011: ooof. october was rough for me as my pregnancy became a lot to carry whilst chasing a gigantic toddler. but we managed to have some fun and some surprises!

november 2011: on my 28th birthday, in a short 3 hours and 56 minutes, we welcome kenson joerger into the world. and in that day, wyeth and kenson ushered in a whole new dynamic to this family.

december 2011: we rushed around then settled down on christmas, to exchange gifts and consume mass amount of food, and to just be together as one big family... with the love and luck that kenson represents being passed around to all of our friends and family. with thankful hearts and hopeful minds, we say goodbye to 2011 and thank you. thank you for changing our worlds indefinitely for the better.

the story of Christmas: a beautiful birth story

2011-12-21T12:34:00.000-08:00

since becoming the mother of a son, the beauty of the story of Christmas aches in my heart. to believe in Jesus or Christmas or religion is a deeply personal decision, so i'm not preaching any of that. but i am saying that the story of the birth of Christ is one of the most beautiful birth stories i've ever read. and since having my boys, i can so fully relate to the power and vulnerability and fear and beauty of that famous night that Christ was born. as women, we are all connected to the figure of Mary in our divine ability to bring life into the world. and so Christian, Jewish, atheist, or otherwise.... we should all celebrate the connection of humanity this Christmas.

image via

to love another

2011-12-08T19:45:00.000-08:00

just before kenson was born, i had a pang of guilt that spurred a long conversation with john. as his due date neared, i kept yielding the fear that i wouldn't love baby #2 as much as i love wyeth... and i hadn't even met him. this might sound absurd, but the truth is that wyeth consumed our hearts in such a massive way. how could i ever love another that much? we talked about it and john wondered the same thing. wyeth was our world, how could another person possibly fit into it?

when i reached down and pulled kenson into the world for the first time, something immediate and magical happened. i was so overwhelmed with a connection to this life, this miracle, this little man that was half john, half me. he looked at me with his deep, wide eyes and it became obvious that the love in our hearts was multiplied, not divided.

what's more is that there is this whole other thing in our home... this love between wyeth and his brother. and THAT love, to witness that, is enough to make my heart burst at the seams. there is a bond and a brotherhood that is beyond just me and john. it's no longer about our small triangle of a family; this new dimension is by far the most amazing thing i've ever witnessed, and it's only just begun.
the way wyeth points to our room in the morning and runs over to the bassinet to find his brother...
the way he lays his big ol' head next to his tiny brother's body...
the way he wants to hold him, kiss him, hug him...
the way he is so concerned with kenson makes so much as a peep in the car....
these are the things that transcend, it's a palpable love so much bigger than us.
and this is just the start.

so in having a second child there is no shortage of love. it's most certainly the opposite. there is, however, a shortage of time. kenson will never have as much time with just me and john as wyeth did. there simply isn't enough time for me to sit and stare at kenson, uninterrupted, for hours as i did with wyeth. but i have had success thus far nursing kenson, so we share those quiet, middle of the night feeding sessions, where we can connect in a way so natural, so beautiful, so loving. and unlike wyeth, kenson has a whole 'nother person pouring love onto him everyday. and so in a way, the lack of time is made up for in the abundance of love.

having two boys under the age of two is sometimes daunting. everything takes a little longer. we will be late for the next 10 years. but mostly, it's wonderful. they are wonderful. and we are so blessed. after all, happiness is real when shared.

seasons of love

2011-12-01T06:41:00.000-08:00

wyeth, born a spritly spring baby, has always encompassed the season so accurately. he is as warm and easy as the springtime breeze. for me and john, he represented everything new: a new life sprung forth from nothing other than our love and God's grace. he is a rejuvenation of purpose, a renewal of life. his gentle spirit pervades his every action, as spring gently coerces the Earth into summer. this is our eldest son, a nature boy with a springtime soul.

kenson is our autumn boy in every way. born under the full moon on an early november morning, he has fully represented his season since his birth. there is a sense of urgency to the fall, a sense of purpose to fill each moment with meaning before the early onset of night; a need to feel alive before the long, cold nights of winter set in. this is kenson, from the fateful fall morning when he came ever so intently into the world in a mere four hours. he was on an intense mission to just be alive. he is fiery and fierce like the reds and oranges of the autumn leaves. you can feel the passion to living through his big, bright eyes. fall is the season of change and kj has been a catalyst of change in our lives. he has transformed this small unit of three into a family of four, complete with the majestic dimension of brotherhood. now there is this bond that exists in the world completely seperate from me and john. kenson has changed the dynamic of our family and our lives, just as the autumn changes the seasons and the clocks.

and so by divine design, our two sons are the perfect pair: complimentary and contradictory in the most natural balance. we have been so blessed.

via etsy

a study in love

2011-11-30T19:05:00.000-08:00

in the days since kenson's beautiful birth, i have been consumed with observing my boys, each in their own way. i study each contour of kenson's face, as i swear it changes each time i look away. and i try to memorize each gesture and sound wyeth makes, as i know tomorrow he will grow and change. these moments are fleeting. this time won't last forever. more than ever, i have been cherishing each small second with my children. holding on knowing i'll have to soon let go.

i have so many things i want to share with you-- our transition to a family of four, the distinct personalities of our boys, the 2 under 2 survival guide, all to come. but for now, but i'm too in love to think about anything other than these beautiful gifts that God has blessed me with. we are so blessed.

In love

2011-11-29T09:19:00.001-08:00

God's blessings in little boy form:

The arrival of Kenson Joerger

2011-11-16T19:09:00.000-08:00

After spending a quiet Friday night at home with my boy and my love next to the (Amish fake) fireplace, I decided to call it a night and head upstairs for bed. Before leaving, I kissed my husband and said prophetically, "I need to rest up in case tomorrow is the big day."

At 4:44am, the exact time Wyeth was born, I woke up, rolled over, and knew Kenson was on his way. I felt intense cramping and shortly after waking up, the first roll of contraction came on strong. I crept downstairs and slipped into the guest bed with John (he had been sleeping down there since he snores and I've become a light sleeper in the last weeks of my pregnancy). He put his hands around my still pregnant belly and asked if I was in labor. I told him his son was on the way, and as another powerful contraction took over, I got up to call the midwives. I told John he needed to wake up and bring Wyeth to my parents' house right away- that this was really happening and happening fast.

I called the midwife on call and the operator picked up and said, "You're in labor along with all the other full moon moms. It's a busy night tonight at labor and delivery! We'll see you soon." I spoke to the midwife and she suggested perhaps that since I could still talk through the contractions I should drink some water, eat a small meal, and speak to her in an hour. I called back half hour later and told her I was coming in, the contractions were intense, regular, and happening quickly.

All the while John had woken our sleeping son, bundled him up and dropped him at his grandparents'. When he came back, I got my bag, got into the car, and we drove the hospital as the full moon glittered its last light and the morning broke into pinks and purples over the horizon. Half way there, I grabbed my husband's hand with my eyes full of tears. He looked over and asked if the pain was too much. All I could say was: We're just so lucky.

As we neared the hospital, Long May You Run came onto the radio and our hearts were so full of anticipation and gratitude. My body was moving the process along quickly and I knew our new love would be earthside soon.

We checked in as I paced the hallway and felt the need to push my arms against the walls and the countertops. We were admitted and I answered a plethora of questions with my arms around John's neck, swaying slowly side to side, breathing deeply through the almost constant discomfort. We were slow dancing in the triage room, overwhelmed with the recognition at how beautifully our life was about to change.

In a moment of levity, the midwife on call came in and looked exactly like my and John's former principal. We couldn't help but smile at the resembelance. She had quite the personality and told me to "drop it like it's hot" referring to my clothes so that she could check my dilation. We laughed, and at 7 centimeters, I was ready to go to the labor and delivery room.

We arrived at change of shift, so a new nurse, Heidi, and a midwife that I knew well, Chris, joined me in the labor room. My discomfort was intensifying and I told John that I didn't know if I could do this for much longer. He turned on the shower for me and I paced around the room, pushing with my arms against the wall, the sink, the bed. With the shower ready, I told John I didn't want to get in, and he knew that delivery was imminent. I made my way to the bed and tried to make myself as comfortable as possible.

After about only an hour in the room, I told the midwife that I was feeling a lot of pressure like I wanted to push, but my water hadn't broken. She told me to push through the next contraction to try and break it myself. It felt like I was pushing against myself: I knew nothing was happening. So on the next contraction, the midwife gently broke my water, and I began to move my son into the world.

John helped get me into a comfortable position and was incredibly helpful and supportive. He was quiet when I needed him to be and gave me confidence with an intense look when I needed that, too. Chris was helpful and encouraging, she gave me reassuring nods and excited "YES, MAMA" cheers through each push. But Heidi, sweet angelic Heidi, was the most influential in the pushing phase of labor. After each push, she slowly and calmly told me to ease my breathing, listen to my body, and relax my forehead. She slowly rubbed her thumb across my forehead and helped me return to a peaceful state.

After one push, I could feel Kenson partially enter the world. The team around me sounded so excited and John joked that the baby looked just like him. After that push, I could feel his impending arrival, and rested. It was a long time before the next contraction. I could hear the midwife say how amazing the human body was, giving baby time to rest and mom time to recover before the next big push. John later told me they also said how beautiful and peaceful I looked in those moments just before his arrival, almost like a movie. And then with one more big, intense, wild push, our sweet son was born into the world at 8:56am.

The midwife asked me to reach down and pull Kenson to my chest. He was big, covered in vernix, and let out the most beautiful cry I have ever heard. I held him and put him onto my chest and cried tears of joy at the miracle we endured. I looked to John who had tears in his eyes, too, as he kissed my and Kenson's forehead.

In the first precious hours of his life, Kenson nursed and rested on my chest. John held him and fell in love on first sight. They let my dad, Kenson's namesake, into the labor room after delivery and he was able to hold him, too. It was all so magical and surreal, I couldn't believe this long awaited baby was finally here.

In just four hours, with the pull of the full moon and the crisp beauty of an autumn morning, Kenson Joerger decided to arrive so that he and I could share a birthday for the rest of our days. It was an incredibly intense, primal, awesome experience.

With his birth, Kenson delivered an entirely new dimension to our family; one that could never exist without him. There is a relationship within the family we started that is completely seperate from us. He brought brotherhood into our world, a connection to another human far beyond the understanding John and I will ever know. He is love and luck incarnate and we are enamoured with his tiny features and sweet dinosaur noises.

We never could have guessed at how much more love our hearts could hold. We have been so, so blessed.

Kenson Joerger

Born on Mama's birthday, November 12th, at 8:56am

8 pounds, 1 ounce, 22 inches long

still here, still pregnant

2011-11-08T19:21:00.001-08:00

taking it easy with my little man, anxiously awaiting our newest best bud. xo

Where the Wild Things Live

2011-11-07T13:45:00.001-08:00

Here are some photos are the boys' room. It's a collection of beautiful gifts they have been given and we have collected for them. No idea how it'll go having them share a room, but we think it's important and will give it a chance (well, after Kenson moves out of our room).

Enjoy the tour! :)

The blanket in Wyeth's crib is a gift from Mama Pat & the Dolby's.

The gorgeous sailboat mobile is a gift from Auntie Martha in San Francisco.

The black frame in the collection of 4 is a gift from Aunt JPL and includes the most beautiful prayer.

The glider is from John's Mom- she rocked all of her grandchildren in that chair.

The photo collage was a gift from Martha and Leigh (and Long Island photographer Kim Pace).

The handprints in a frame are from John and Wyeth (and make my heart soar).

The colorful sailing paintings in the nook above the dresser were painted by Wyeth's godmother, Ciocha Sania.

The vintage school desk was from a yard sale. The books are from W's baby shower.

The smiling wood carving above the door was a souvenir from a trip to Jamaica with my mama and sister.

And the sailboat pen and inks are from etsy. The saying is from my old DG days. :)

cuddles, friends, adventures, and Spiderman

2011-11-04T10:58:00.001-07:00

...and a very pregnant mama.

(some pictures from the past week)

Our baby has a name

2011-11-02T19:42:00.001-07:00

Dear November Baby,

After much deliberation, your Dad and I have decided on the perfect name for you. We heard it a few years ago from a student we both taught and it lingered in our minds and hearts.

Your brother was given the name of your Dad, his Dad, and his Dad. He has big shoes to fill in order to live up to the name of these kind men. But he goes by their middle name, so he is the first Wyeth in the bunch. Because of this, he is not inly tied to his lineage, but He has the freedom and unique opportunity to make his own name.

For you, We wanted the same association to your roots yet freedom to spread your own wings. And so your first name is reminiscent of your grandfather's name (Kenneth). Your uncle also shares this name as his middle name. Both of these men are dedicated to their family, full of passionate ideas about the world, and find strength in kindness. And your middle name is also my middle name. It is your great-great grandmother's maiden name ( my mom's Dad's mom's name). She, too, valued family and played golf well into her 90's. She carries the same traits as your grandma and great grandpa- tough, resilient, and strong.

So, Kenson Joerger, we hope your name serves as a reminder of the many people that have come before you, that love you, and that would give anything for your happiness.

We love you, KJH.
<3,
Your whole big family tree

how false labor made me a mother of 2

2011-10-31T05:18:00.000-07:00

every morning, i wake up to the babbling (or sometimes crying) of my son. i walk across the short hall, peek into his room, and am immediately greeted with a big smile and bright eyes. as i walk towards his crib, he stands up, hands me his ugly doll and his blanket. i pick him up and for a moment he rests his head on my shoulder and arms around my neck. then he perks up, points his crooked little finger towards the door and commands "go!"

everything about this routine is so exemplary of my son. he is happy. all the time happy. should become a life coach happy. he is sweet and sentimental and loving. and he is bursting with a passion for life and adventure. i am blessed to have the opportunity to know him, let alone be his mother for the rest of my life.

and so for the last 17 months, i have been all consumed by this little person. this bundle of love incarnate. those 17 months have moved past us in a speed we didn't know life could possibly move. and somehow in all that furious movement of time, we have arrived here on the brink of another miracle as our second son is due to be born any day now.

on thursday, i woke up feeling crampy and strange. (sound familiar?) i went about my day and around 3:00PM, i felt a contraction. definitely not braxton hicks, a real, deep inside wave of energy that i immediately remembered from wyeth's birth. as the anticipation grew for the contractions to regulate, i debated whether to call my husband (who works 2 hours away from home). at 6:30PM, i had contractions regularly, but only every 20 minutes apart. but they had started a pattern and i was convinced we were on our way. i called john and asked him to come home, not knowing how quickly a second labor would progress. by the time he arrived home at 8:30, my contractions were mild, but steady.

i had john take wyeth to his grandparent's house, an overly emotional moment leaving wyeth completely ignorant to the major changes that would soon be taking place in his world. anticipating being up all night and having worked a 14 hour day, john decided to nap "for an hour". i downloaded a contraction-timer app on my iphone and sat downstairs with a bowl of ice cream and the project runway finale (aside from cristian siriano and jeffery, i never agree with their choices!)

as the contractions continued, i tried to get my mind prepared for the night ahead. instead, i got all sorts of emotional. my laboring experience with wyeth was so wonderful: we were surrounded by family and friends, in the sunshine, in the garden, in the church. it was celebratory and beautiful and there were SEVEN people who accompanied john and i to the hospital; all of whom stayed from 11PM to 4:44AM in the waiting room, just to get a glimpse of our son. and here i was, round 2, on a dark, cold, rainy night, sitting in my house completely alone without any celebration or excitement for what was about to happen. it wasn't right.

i went upstairs and woke john (it was midnight, he had way more than an hour nap!). he rubbed my back and timed my contractions. we watched the late night shows and laughed. but as i closed my eyes to rest at 3:00AM, it still didn't feel right.

when i woke up in the morning, all energy towards birth had stopped. i had no more contractions. i felt discouraged, like my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to. how did i get to having contractions 7 minutes apart with no progress? i had a midwives' appointment in the morning which proved that i had a lot of work yet to do at merely 1 centimeter dilated. a huge cloud of diappointment followed me around.

but then in a moment of mother-intervention, a friend helped me realize what wasn't right.

as this pregnancy comes to an end, i've focused all of my energy around wyeth. he's been the core of my being for nearly 2 years, it is my sole function to ensure his well-being. so i constantly wondered: will he be okay? do i have enough playdates set up? do i have enough materials for activities for him in the house after his brother arrives? will he be okay without us for the few days i'm in the hospital? how will he respond to his brother? should i buy a baby doll and carry it around so he gets an idea of what's about to happen? etc etc etc

in all of that, i forgot what a miraculous journey i am on. my mother would remind me that i always do my best at the last minute, so maybe this was in the design all along... but here i am in the last minutes of this beautiful journey, with a life growing inside of me. i life i created to share with the man that i love... and our other child. there isn't anything more amazing.

and so while my eldest certainly deserves consideration in this process, i need to remember that there is another little boy on the way. there is a beating heart that i carry with me, just underneath my own heart. there is a boy with a personality and a hair color and a story that we will help write: something john and i can't wait to be a part of. and lucky for us, we have wyeth with us to help.

so my false labor experience helped bring to light that i wasn't at all ready for kenson to arrive. i need more time with him listening to my heartbeat from the inside. i want to curl up around my belly and hold him, whisper secrets that only we share, and hold onto these moments just a little bit longer. because soon enough, he will be here, a part of this big family so full of love and gratitude.

and it will be a celebration.

and wyeth will be fine.

let's empower women, not frighten them

2011-10-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

I just got an email from http://www.thebump.com/ with the title "What they DIDN'T tell you about labor and delivery".

This picture is next to that title:

Look at that woman's face. Terrified, confused, scared, in pain?

With two male doctors wearing masks, evidently delivering bad news.

The article is prefaced with a paragraph about how regardless of how women prepare, with Lamaze or hypnobirthing or birth plans, everything goes "out the window" once labor starts. In other words, the Bump would like women to know that labor and delivery are totally scary and completely out of our control.

The stories listed in the article range from a husband getting the epidural sprayed in his eye, to a woman having to "catch" her baby without the presence of a nurse or OB, to how a woman pooped so much during delivery it's "burned into her husband's brain". Jusssssssssst what a pregnant woman wants to hear.

This needs to stop.

Women need to feel encouraged to have a birth in which they feel in control, whether that means having a natural birth, a c-section, an epidural, or a team of 25 zen masters.

Women should not be made to FEAR the labor and delivery process.

It's one of the most amazing things that women can do, however they go about doing it.

So I'm unsubscribing from The Bump

and hoping that women look for positivity during their pregnancy.

Here are some places to start:

My Natural Birth Post

Excellent blog sharing birth stories and breastfeeding art

letterstoames

and these encouraging voices on Twitter:

@imperfectbird

@letterstohannah

@kellypappas

@kaydenlane

@yourgreenbaby

natural birth

2011-10-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

let me preface this by saying that i support women who bring babies into this world, naturally or not. i do not advocate natural birth, i advocate what is right for mama and baby, whether that includes medication, water, surgery, whatever. also, i'm saying all of this with the hopes that i can have another natural birth. but i am more than willing to adjust my birth plan if necessary to include an epidural, medication, or any other intervention if necessary.

for the first 32 weeks of my pregnancy with wyeth, i had fully planned on having an epidural birth. i had read a book about how great and convenient they were... how painless and easy... how wonderful and great. seemed ideal, a no brainer. why be a hero? modern medicine makes life easier. duh.

so i went to my practice of eight different OB/GYNs. i asked them about epidurals they responded: "oh 85% of our patients get them. there's no need to be a hero!" i asked about the risks versus benefits and was brushed off.

i was scared to give birth. i had witnessed my brother being born and it was amazing, but my stepmother had an epidural, still experienced pain, and was threatened with a c-section during her labor and delivery. my best friend had an incredibly traumatic birth experience just weeks before wyeth was due. my sister had a scheduled c-section and her recovery seemed difficult (although she handled it like a champ). a lot of women were confirming that labor and delivery were terrible and scary and hard. i was scared, and the professionals that i hired to guide me on my way to the biggest, most important, most difficult event my body would ever do in its life, and they couldn't take more than 30 seconds to answer questions or help set expectations.

so i started reading and reaching out to other mothers. i read a lot of positive natural birth stories. i read the business of being born. then i was REALLY scared. then i started reading ina may's guide and switched to midwives.

at my first visit with the midwives at 32 weeks, they spent more time talking to me than the OBs had in the first 8 months. after the exam, she brought me to her office, answered questions, asked me questions, and even lent me a book from her bookshelf. she didn't preach natural birth. she answered my questions about epidurals and explained that the most important thing about labor and delivery was that the mother felt in control and safe. so if that meant i wanted an epidural, they would happily oblige. if i wanted to try for a natural birth, they'd stand there with me, coaching me along. suddenly, i didn't feel as afraid.

ignorance is bliss for a first time mother. i became prepared to naturally deliver my son, but i wasn't stubbornly committed. if i needed to, i would have an epidural. but i felt like i could trust the team around me during labor and delivery to guide me in the best direction for me and my baby. because i had never been through labor before, there was a mix of fear of what's to come... and the blissful ignorance of not knowing what's to come.

when i became pregnant with kenson, initially i was even MORE afraid to give birth. i knew full well how long and grueling and exhausting labor and delivery was. i didn't feel ready to go through it again (granted i didn't give myself that much time to recover from the last experience, haha). but as i travelled through this pregnancy, i met with the midwives who always made me feel strong, confident, like i was doing incredible work. i expressed my fears to them, started rereading positive birth stories and ina may, and stopped listening to the negative mamas out there. i have my own point of reference: a beautiful birth that wasn't impossible or scary or even as painful as i had imagined.

so now, as the 36th week of my second pregnancy comes to a close, i am feeling so ready, so confident. i am encouraged by the fact that most second labors are shorter than the first (25 hours with wyeth!). i am excited to be a part of such an amazing journey. i have been writing down and repeating little mantras to remind myself that:

i can do this. i know i can do this.
this is what women were made to do. i can trust my body. i can trust my baby.
my midwives care about me and my baby. i can trust them. i am safe in their care.
this is a miraculous endeavor.
do not be afraid. no fear.
each contraction will end. there are many moments of peace throughout the entire process. rest, relax, recharge.

and i've been rereading what other mothers have offered to me and what i have passed on to other mothers:

Stay at home for as long as you feel comfortable. Being in a hospital heightens everything, including your discomfort. Stay home, take a bath, take a walk, whatever. With Wyeth, I stayed home for the first 19 hours of labor swimming and gardening and at a BBQ! By the time I got to the hospital, I was 7 cm dilated.
If you can, get in water. The water relieved so much of the pressure of the contractions. I stayed in a pool until my contractions were 4 minutes apart! Then I took a bath. And at the hospital I even took a hot shower and let the water pound on my back. The tub will not be in for my delivery of Kenson, but I plan on staying in as much water as possible at home.
Eat and drink small snacks. You're about to do the equivalent of running 10 marathons, you should have some energy. Gatorade is a big help. I had fruit snacks and granola bars. 26 hours is a long time to go without eating!
Try different positions. Sometimes standing up felt good, other times being on all fours felt good, the birth ball, on my side, walking, on my back. A few friends highly suggested sitting on the toilet. Move around. If they'll allow, ask for a traveling IV. I had to have a needle and tube put in my arm in case they needed to quickly hook me up to something while in labor, but I wasn't attached to any machines so I could move. This time, I do NOT want to push on my back. I pushed with Wyeth, on my back- the worst position!- for nearly three hours!
Know that between each contraction and even each push- there is peace. In those minutes and moments between contractions, I was able to breathe, pray, talk to John, talk to the midwife and nurse, drink water, and be calm. People rarely talk about the calm of labor. It’s intense, but in each contraction, I kept telling myself that it would be over soon. And they do end, it's not constant. The discomfort WILL end. Focus on one contraction at a time.
There may well be a time when you want to quit. have your team encourage you to try and get through just 1 more. towards the end, when labor was intense, John kept saying, "you're strong enough to get through just one more." that helped me tremendously, because i then told myself "yes, i can do 2 more, but then i quit" haha. i obviously never quit and had a really beautiful and amazing birth experience. You can get through just one more.
This is graphic but I'm just tryin' to hep a sister out: when it's time to push, push like you're trying to poop. :)
At the end of the experience, all that really matters is that YOU and your partner were in control of the labor and delivery, were provided with all the options, and you give birth to a happy healthy little baby! :)

and the last thing i've been doing is rereading wyeth's birth story and looking at pictures of him as a newborn. this is such motivation to meet my newest little boy. what will he look like? will he have big hands like his brother? will he have dark hair like his dad? will he look like his great grandpa? who will you be, little man? i cannot wait to bring you into this world.

update on the boys

2011-10-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

Wyeth
Age: 17 months
Weight: 29 pounds (he's HUGE!)
Height: Almost as tall as his 2 year old friend. He's TALL!

Words: He says "thank you" all the time- when you give him something, when he hands you something. He obviously doesn't understand the concept, but he's quite the polite toddler! He also calls our dog Kaya "KaiKai", he knows his uncle "Aidan", he attempts to say "chicken", he asks for his "baba", "dada", and "mama" (although he kinda refers to all women who pick him up as mama, haha). He also, ever so clearly and emphatically says "NO".

Favorites: This boy LOVES to be outside. He pulls around a red wagon, he carries pumpkins to and fro, he collects sticks and acorns, he points to the sky and makes a swishing sound when the wind blows through the trees, he mimicks the neighborhood dogs' barks. On occasion we take him in the evenings to the local beach, where he kicks off his shoes, collects shells and squeals at the hermit crabs and squalks at the seagulls. He loves food and eats literally anything we give him. He's become attached to a little owl that his Aunt Sami gave him and a blue ugly doll that Uncle Tex gave him. He hugs them and kisses them. He loves books and blocks and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Little Einsteins and Elmo.

New Happenings: He wakes up in the morning, standing up in his crib with a smile and open arms with a blanket over his shoulder. It is a skill to be as happy as he is. He's also exceptional at making us laugh. He has some serious dance moves that he breaks out literally whenever there is some sort of music. He is constantly trying to hug the other kids on the playground and is ever so curious and delicate with our friend's newborn. His newest talent is "The Monster": he creeps into a room or up to a person, throws his hands up as if casting a magic spell, growls like a monster, then laughs hysterically. It's awesome. He has also developed the tantrum skill, by which he throws himself on the ground or up against a wall and cries... but it only lasts as long as it takes for us to distract him with something.

As per my weekly BabyCenter email, Wyeth is getting better at assimilating information from all five senses. It's why your toddler will suddenly stop to listen to the sound of a dog barking, squat down to get a better look at the ants crawling in and out of cracks in the sidewalk, or take delight in running sand through her hands. Whenever you can, get down and play in the sand (or peer at an anthill, or poke at an earthworm) with your toddler — you'll remember again what it's like to see the world through the eyes of a child. In other words, he's pure magic.

November Baby
Age: 36 weeks
Weight: 5.5 - 6 lbs (Mama's gained 12 lbs so far)
Height: 18 inches (I'm still only 5'2")
Fruit comparison: Water freakin' melon

Words: Mama says a lot of curse words while trying to get comfortable sleeping. November Baby is still relatively quiet.

Favorites: Little Boy loves to squiggle and squirm in the late afternoon and the evenings. He very much enjoys whenever I indulge in sweets: donuts and ice cream are tops. He also seems to really enjoy the quiet, which is so different than his brother. He also feels so calm, so happy whenever we get a prenatal massage. His movements are more fluid, his being seems relaxed and at peace.

New Happenings: November Baby has a name! Kenson Joerger- a post to explain soon enough. Also, November Baby is almost certainly NOT going to be an actual November Baby. I've been measuring ahead of schedule at my midwives' appointments, I'm obviously dropping, and I can feel the little guy lowering himself down, preparing to enter the world. I delievered Wyeth early, so I'm expecting the same this time around... though life is always full of surprises! I am feeling confident and ready for another natural birth experience, although I'm anxious to hear the news that the tub has officially been installed. I've been nesting like a lunatic (washing dishes and cleaning outdoor furniture last night at 2:00am. Organizing my make-up. Seriously, it's out of hand.) In relation, I've also started to run out of steam. I'm completely exhausted by the end of the day and it has become quite common for John to find me dead asleep by 8:00pm.

And according to BabyCenter: Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. He's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered his body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during his nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of his first bowel movement. At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles. -Charlie Chaplin

2011-10-11T14:18:00.000-07:00

last week was rough. the au pair that we had invested so much time, trust, and hope in decided upon arrival to our home that she wanted to return home to argentina. our family was dependent on this childcare and anticipated welcoming a new family member, like our experience with malin. but the opposite happened and we felt betrayed by the process, left without someone to watch wyeth in the critical weeks before my maternity leave. there is SO much to be done, at work and at home, in anticipation of kjh's arrival... and to suddenly have to rethink our plans sent me into an emotional headspin.
i felt overwhelmed.
i felt like a terrible mother to my oldest son, who would soon be lost in the shuffle when his brother arrived.
i felt like an even worse mother to my unborn son, with the stress and the crying disrupting his peaceful, calm, growing environment i've been trying to maintain for him.
i felt like the worst wife, adding even more burden to my husband who is already working so hard for us.
i felt like the worst employee, having to take off days just before maternity leave and abandon tasks that need to be completed before i go.
i felt like the worst family member, asking so much of so many who have their own lives to attend to.
i felt like the worst friend, unable to find the time or the energy to call back my dearest girls who are calling, undoubtedly, to see how their very pregnant friend is doing.

and i felt all of this feeling exhausted, very pregnant, very overwhelmed, very emotional, very frustrated, very out of control.

it sucked.

but as mr. chaplin said: nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles. life moved on and the weekend came. and it was so full of everything wonderful that all the stresses faded far, far into the background. it's amazing how little things like flying a kite or hiking the dunes at sunset or petting a goat or riding a tiny steam engine can bring so much joy, so much fulfillment. there's a great deal of perspective to be found in the eyes of a 17 month old at a petting zoo.

on sunday night, when i put my sleeping toddler in his crib and laid down next to my husband in bed, all i could do was thank God for the many blessings in my life. we'll find other childcare. we have a big, generous family that's more than willing to help. and more than anything, we have this remarkably joyous little family, overflowing with love and goodness and simplicity and joy. and that's really all i'll ever need.

update: birthing tubs at Stony Brook University!

2011-10-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

back in June I shared with the lovely people of the internet (and all of my family, friends, anyone with an email address) my petition to have birthing tubs installed in the new Labor & Delivery Unit at Stony Brook Hospital. I spent a majority of my drug and intervention free labor with Wyeth in water and it made the process incredibly bearable. The weightlessness of the water took the pressure of each contraction off my body and my baby, allowing me to relax and actually feel good without any medication. Unfortunately, I had to get out of the pool and to the hospital, where the only water therapy included the cold shower.... which really did nothing helpful. It was the feeling of being submerged and weightless that helped. I considered a home-birth in a tub with Baby #2, but it's just not something John feels comfortable with, and I more than understand that. When I explain that's the reason we are not having a homebirth, a lot of people say "Are you crazy?! YOU are the one giving birth, not John!" And while this is true, I am bringing his son into this world and I am his wife. He is concerned about the well-being of both of us and I respect that. Anyway..... the update is that: dun dun daaaaaaaaa

The CEO of Stony Brook Hospital, Dr. Steven Strongwater, has heard the voices of the people and has decided to install a birthing tub in the new unit! He is working with our midwives to find the perfect equipment to make water birth a possibility for women who choose to deliver at SBUH. Now we just have to hope and pray that tub is installed AND available whenever sweet baby KJH decides to arrive! :) :) :)

THANK YOU, friends, for offering your name to the petition! It worked! Hooray!

--------------------------------------------

Dr. Steven L. Strongwater, CEO Stony Brook University Hospital:

In a state of the art facility such a Stony Brook University Hospital, it is only fitting for birthing tubs to be including in the new Labor and Delivery Unit currently under construction. Your facility provides women and their families opportunities to bring forth life into the world in a beautiful, comfortable, safe facility. However, at this time, the lack of birthing tubs leaves thousands of Long Island women without choice in their birthing experience. Please consider adding birthing tubs to the new Labor and Delivery Unit at your facility. Without this option at Stony Brook, many women are forced to birth at home or at NMCU.

We the undersigned are looking to Stony Brook University Hospital to re-include birthing tubs into the design plans for the new L & D unit to be built. As the CEO of this hospital we direct this petition, signed by Long Island women, their friends, partners, husbands and families, as well as the members of the birthing community, to you.

Pregnant women and their families are consumers who deserve to be heard, and who deserve this choice when choosing their place of birth.

Thank you,
Erin Hunt

27 good deeds, catch-up!

2011-10-05T06:24:00.000-07:00

posting has been sporadic the past few months, i know, even with this little venture. but i'm baking a baby, chasing a toddler, working 30+ hours a week, trying to stuff something healthy-ish down my gourd, welcoming a new au pair, having sunday dinners, and trying to pick out what clothes are clean in the mountainous pile that is slowly taking over our room.

nonetheless, i've continued sneaking in good deeds before my 28th birthday.

#1 (Update: the mailman came to our door to thank me profusely for the brownies!)

#2

#3: Donated a HUGE bag of clothes to Big Brothers, Big Sisters, an organization I worked with in Roanoke, VA. I have the utmost respect for their mission and service to youth. These are clothes that I wanted to sell, that I had never worn, and that I had worn quite a bit. Bonus for me: it felt good to purge my closet.

#4: Paid for a woman's dinner in line behind me at the drive-thru. Everyone was confused about this, including the cashier and the woman behind me, so I realized that the little cards this woman made are probably a good idea.

#5: I've put change/a dollar in every receptical next to the cash register or donated a dollar to everyone that's collected at the register. Stray animals, sick children, lupus foundations, breast cancer awareness, and Dave Thomas' charity are some of the few receipients that got my tiny donation. Bonus: I got a book of 10 free Wendy's Frosties for one of my donations. This means that I have another good deed to complete! (*I'm a sucker for a spicy chicken sandwich while pregnant. And maybe a Frosty now and again. ;)

#6: Sent two packages to the brave men and women serving our country overseas. I feel like this almost shouldn't be on the list, seeing as it should be our civic duty to support our troops. But it was an act of kindness, so here is it.

#7: I spent a whole day smiling at strangers and holding doors. Some people thought this was strange. New Yorkers can be so cynical. But a lot of people smiled back. And truth be told, this was harder than it seems!

I have 20 more to go! Today shall involve handwritten notes and a few small care packages. :)

So many of you beautiful people reached out to me to tell me that you plan on following in this lady's footsteps! Please link up if you do! Post a link to your blog in the comments and I'll be sure to share here. Good Karma is a wonderful thing. :)

27 good deeds before 28, #2

2011-09-27T08:41:00.000-07:00

RECAP: was so inspired when i saw this post on pinterest, i had to join the movement of good karma. before my birthday, i plan on completing at least 27 acts of kindness for the 27 years of my good life on earth. some will be planned, some will happen spontaneously, but before november 12th, i will send out 27 "thank-you's" to the universe for the wonders the world has brought me over the past 27 years.
i've had an incredible 27 years. i've been raised in the greatest country in the world, by an incredibly generous and loving family. i've made friends that are loyal, thoughtful, and kind. i have had the opportunity to learn, to teach, and to grow. i've sought my dreams and made them reality. i lived in new york city, i studied in france, i traveled europe with my family and my love, and i volunteered in tanzania. i've explored this beautiful country and made many memories. i met and married a man with the heart of a man's man and a poet's soul. i witnessed the birth of my baby brother and gave birth to a son of my own. i live every day carrying a small beating heart within my soul and expect to meet him someday soon. i have my health and the love of so many surrounds me. life is so good. i have SO many things to be thankful for. it seems only right to give something back to this universe as a "thank you" for all the blessings in my life.

i debated whether or not to share these good deeds with the almighty internet here on my blog. but i decided to in hopes that one of the people that stumble upon this blog will see how easy it is to give back, garner good karma, and bring happiness to the world around us.... that perhaps they'll do the same.

so with 50 days until my birthday, i figured i should get a jump start since i'll be having a baby sometime during the next 52 days... things might get a little busy. i started with something right from the original post: a gift to our mailman.

DEED #2: I sent out a handful of emails to people who inspire me in big and small ways. An old professor. A few bloggers. Bill Gates. A few artists. And I thanked them for their contribution to the world.

in defense of motherhood

2011-09-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

maybe i have an old soul, or was raised in a different kind of home, or maybe i'm the odd woman out... but it seems to me that we need to take a closer look at the way we think about motherhood and pregnancy. let me explain:

the other day i met a friend and her three children at the park. while the little ones played, we sat and watched as they explored and discovered and fell down and got back up. another mother arrived with her sweet, curly haired little girl. she went off to play and the mamas got to chatting. "how old is she?" "what's her name?" then the other mother said "oh that's your 16 month old son, when are you due?" i told her november, to which she replied "ohhh, was that baby a mistake?"

my jaw instinctually dropped, i stuttered in disbelief, blniked quite a few times, then uttered "uhhh, no." and in the next moment, by the grace of God, Wyeth beckoned me for help on the jungle gym.

A MISTAKE?!

there are so many obvious things wrong with this statement: rude, no child is a mistake, none of her business, a million more polite ways to intrusively ask about my family planning, etc. but this woman is the extreme of what happens each and every day, since the world found out i was pregnant with wyeth.

via pinterest

during both pregnancies, i've been bombarded with a million horror stories about birth, the terrible twos, and teenagers. most comments are about how difficult pregnancy and parenthood will be, as if i'm now eternally doomed to misery.

in a jesting tone, i've taken so much heat over trading in my honda element for my toyota sienna minivan.

i bump into many well-meaning man/woman/child: they notice the belly and the boy, ask when i'm due, what the age difference will be, then scrunch up their faces to show their pity, tell me i'll have my hands full and wish me good luck.

usually the next question after the standard age, due date, age difference, gender questions, i get asked if i regret or miss "giving up" my career for my children, or if i wish i could travel more, or if i miss the freedom of not having children. and these are not dear friends asking these questions; it's acquaintances, ladies that work in the deli, anyone that spends enough time to get to that level of questioning.

...here's the thing: i have never been happier or more fulfilled in my entire life. why the sympathetic looks? why the pity? i am beyond blessed to have the opportunity each day to do the most important thing i could ever do with my life: be a mother.

as for the woman in the park: did i know i expect to get pregnant again so quickly? no. was i overjoyed at the opportunity to have another child? yes. am i thrilled that my two sons will never know a life without each other? yes. do i thank God every day for this blessing? absolutely. so is baby 2 a mistake? not possible.

as for the forewarning, negative comments: i have had two amazing pregnancies, being honored to carry the beating hearts of two little miracles inside my body. the sickenss, the aches, the discomfort, the inconvenience, all of it: worth it. i had an incredible, drug and intervention free birth with wyeth and pray to do so with baby 2. it's not that bad. as for the impending doomsday that so many strangers promise me i'm in for- i'm not saying it won't be hard, but i am saying that i am going to appreciate the struggles that help grow this family.

as for the minivan: i have never been so excited to drive a small school bus in my life. yes, it's a symbol of the suburban (working) housewife life. a life that i am so very thankful to be living. a car is a status symbol, and my status? PROUD mother of two boys, growing a happy family.

as for the "hands full" and "luck": yes, i will have my hands full- with two unbelievably beautiful miracles. two boys full of life and spirit who will make me laugh and thank God each day. and luck? i obviously don't need it- i've already been lucky enough to have the priviledge of mothering two boys. i might be the luckiest person on the planet.

giving up my career? first, i still work. second, i will go back to education. and third, no job could ever fulfill me the way being a mother does. all day every day, i am presented with opportunities each day to be good at something, to do something i love, to feel fulfilled and successful, to make an enormous difference in the world around me. there is no other job like being a mother, and i am SO thankful that i have this job.

traveling? in the 16 months since becoming a mother, we've been to san francisco, lake george, disney, upstate new york numerous times, various camping trips, and other short roadtrips. but that's missing the point: i do not have to step foot out of my house to experience the same wonder and amazement as traveling brings. every day my boy sees something new, discovers it for the first time, and because i now see life through his eyes, i am re-discovering the most ordinary things in the most facsinating ways. isn't that why we travel? that's why i do and will.

as Rachel Jankovic said: The truth is that years ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things. Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing. Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking? Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.

motherhood is a calling. it's not a choice. it's a blessing. it's not something you can control and have happen the moment you decide it's time. it's not something that should be done at 30, no sooner. siblings don't need to be exactly 2.5 years apart. you don't need to have a certain amount of money in the bank or own a home with a certain square footage or have worked at a job for a certain amount of time. you need to hear and accept the calling to motherhood.

so in defense of all the mamas, please stop pitying us. i didn't give up my life to become a mother. the opposite happened: an entirely new and better life for me, my husband, and my family has grown from my very womb. a life that is so full of joy, so full of happiness, that in the quietest, simpliest of moments, there is serene peace in my soul. there is no longer self-doubt. there are no longer hours of questioning what the future holds and what the right decisions might be. i no longer ask God for things in church: i go each Sunday to thank him for the blessings in my life. i am brimming with gratitude. i am fulfilled to my core.

i'm certainly not contending that women everywhere should stop everything and procreate immediately. what i am saying is that women who have chosen to accept the calling to motherhood are lucky, they need not be pitied. they should be celebrated.

so here's to you, beautiful mamas!

via pinterest

27 thank-you's for my 27 years

2011-09-23T06:13:00.000-07:00

i was so inspired when i saw this post on pinterest, i had to join the movement of good karma. before my birthday, i plan on completing at least 27 acts of kindness for the 27 years of my good life on earth. some will be planned, some will happen spontaneously, but before november 12th, i will send out 27 "thank-you's" to the universe for the wonders the world has brought me over the past 27 years.

i've had an incredible 27 years. i've been raised in the greatest country in the world, by an incredibly generous and loving family. i've made friends that are loyal, thoughtful, and kind. i have had the opportunity to learn, to teach, and to grow. i've sought my dreams and made them reality. i lived in new york city, i studied in france, i traveled europe with my family and my love, and i volunteered in tanzania. i've explored this beautiful country and made many memories. i met and married a man with the heart of a man's man and a poet's soul. i witnessed the birth of my baby brother and gave birth to a son of my own. i live every day carrying a small beating heart within my soul and expect to meet him someday soon. i have my health and the love of so many surrounds me. life is so good. i have SO many things to be thankful for. it seems only right to give something back to this universe as a "thank you" for all the blessings in my life.

i debated whether or not to share these good deeds with the almighty internet here on my blog. but i decided to in hopes that one of the people that stumble upon this blog will see how easy it is to give back, garner good karma, and bring happiness to the world around us.... that perhaps they'll do the same.

so with 50 days until my birthday, i figured i should get a jump start since i'll be having a baby sometime during the next 52 days... things might get a little busy. i started with something right from the original post: a gift to our mailman.

our mailman is really nice: he brings packages to the front door and if it's raining, he'll bring the mail and put it between the screen and front door to it stays dry. he always waves and smiles and shows up to work everyday. so thank you, mailman, for being such a courteous postal worker! we appreciate you!

goodbye to malin: a year gone by

2011-09-14T06:39:00.000-07:00

tomorrow we will say goodbye to the au pair that cared for wyeth and my brother, aidan, for the past year. as a parting gift, she gave me a photo album of her time with us. looking through the pictures of our family over the course of a year, marked by one woman's year of travel abroad, brought me to tears.

it's remarkable how life passes, day by day, small moment by small moment, and all of those tiny sparks of love and magic and joy roll into something amazing. this past year has been nothing short of amazing: my son has grown into a beautiful, happy boy, with a funny personality and a ton of hugs to share. and in the midst of that, our family was blessed with another little boy, who has grown from a tiny little zygote to a boy with a name two months away from seeing the world for the first time. and between work and schedules and oil changes and bill payments there were full moon sails and birthday parties and sunday dinners and trips to san fran/disney/lake george.... and we find ourselves in the midst of this beautiful life.

and in that year, in those moments, somehow malin went from a swedish girl living at my dad's to a sister and forever friend.

ferris bueller was right. life moves pretty fast: if you don't stop and look around once and a while it'll pass you by.

thanks for everything, malin! we'll miss you!

on natural birth, the second time

2011-09-09T05:57:00.000-07:00

My birth plan with Wyeth was to go without intervention or medication as long as possible. I am not anti-epidural or modern medicine. I wasn't looking to be a hospital room hero and endure the pain for toughness' sake. But after hearing so many horror stories about women's birth experience, I did a lot of research and reading and began to understand the necessity of being in control of your birth experience. And for me, John, and Wyeth, that meant switching to midwives in my third trimester AND knowing that I would attempt to endure the labor and birth process as naturally as possible. I had an incredible, natural experience with Wyeth. It was long, it was uncomfortable, it was difficult at times, and it certainly felt like running a few marathons. But there was also an unexpected peace and calmness and strength in the process that I didn't expect and that helped me through the 25 hour process.

For the first 30 weeks of this pregnancy, I've had a lot more anxiety about the birth process on the second go-round. The first time, I have naivity on my side. This time, I'm fully cognisent of the difficult mental and physical test of endurance I will face to give birth to baby boy number two. I've been rereading the tips that were given to me by lovely natural birthing mamas, and reminding myself of the advice I passed on.

Each contraction ends. You can endure anything for 2 minutes. It will subside.
You were made for this.
You are strong enough.
You can do this.
Have no fear: you will not break.
You can endure.

10 weeks to go.

2011-09-06T06:16:00.000-07:00

Dear November Baby Boy,

You and I are kindred spirits, my son. I know there is something so special about us, I can feel it in the depths of my soul and in the smooth movements stirring in my womb. See, son, you and me are both November babies. And we're also both second babies. And there's a lot to be said for both of those things.

Your brother is a special kid, no doubt. He's happy and easy going and fun. He looks just like me but acts just like Dad. And since he's so wonderful and easy, people keep warning me that you're going to be a troublemaker. I guess they think it's just not possible to have two good, easy, perfect babies. I think they're wrong. I think you're going to be a dream. Grandma tells me I (the second) was the easiest baby compared to Aunt Sue and Uncle Tex. There's also the veteran factor: I've got the hang of things this time. I know what to expect, I've got all the stuff and many tricks and a community of other parents and family and friends that are so willing to support us however necessary.

I think you're going to look just like your dad but act just like me (which in fairness is slightly rowdier than your Papa). You'll have passion for life: you'll be angry at the injustices of the world, you'll cry when other people are sad and be over the moon when your dearest succeed. And apparently, you're going to like sweets like your brother likes curry. At least I'll always have someone to share dessert with. :)

me & you at 30 weeks, via beestudio

Don't get me wrong: I love your brother truly and deeply. He holds a special place in my world as my firstborn son. But I want you to know that you, too, hold a separate special place: a place for second babies born in November. That's you and me, kid.

I love you dearly.

Mom

post-pregnancy

2011-09-01T12:51:00.000-07:00

hi there!

checking in at the end of my 7th month.... which is actually the 16th month of my life that i've been pregnant.... that's over a year dedicated to growing babies so far.... and it feeeeeeeeels like i've been pregnant for-ev-er these days.

don't get me wrong: i wake up each morning thanking the dear Lord in heaven for this gift of a baby. but then i move an inch, my back hurts, i winch in pain, and nearly pee my pants. and then i start looking forward to NOT being pregnant.

so i've compiled a short list of things i'm looking forward doing after pregnancy:

cooking: i've had quite the aversion to meat of any kind, particularly raw meat, this pregnancy. and i've had the energy of a boulder. and my feet have been swollen and hot since day 16. none of these qualities a good chef make. so i'm looking forward to trying new recipes, feeding my family, and eating well after baby 2 arrives.
sleeping: well, i know this will be a while after baby 2 arrives, but i'm looking forward to one night of uninterupted, on the back or belly, without aching hips and the constant, dark groggy trips to the bathroom.
running: i had just gotten into the groove of couch to 5k when i took all 2134 pregancy tests to confirm this little boy baking in the belly. it felt good. i can't wait to feel good.
clothing: i've been wearing the same 2 pairs of shorts, the same 2 pairs of jeans, and a few various skirts that no longer work for the past 5 months. i cannot wait to have free reign over my wardrobe again-- including my shoes!
drinking: wine gives me heartburn this pregnancy. i'm looking forward to enjoying a big ol' glass without immediate reflux.
feeling normal: my hands and feet have been red, blotchy and incredibly hot this entire pregnancy. my back might break in two at any moment. i cannot see my feet. and my relationship with food has gone from happy and free to picky, annoying, and hurtful (see: heartburn, cravings, aversions)

MEETING BABY BOY! this is obviously what i'm looking forward to most. what will he look like? his brother? his dad? his grandpa? will he have dark hair and blue eyes? dark eyes and blonde hair? will he love music like his brother? will he love animals like his uncle? will he loves bugs like the finster? who will you be, little boy?

pinspiration

2011-08-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

it's been quiet on the blog this summer. we've been busy going, seeing, doing, loving. the summer is winding down and big changes are on the horizon. there's that glow about things, the strange light just before a thunderstorm, that electricity palpable in the air. i've never felt so alive, so ready to take on the future.

but until those days come and i have more to share here, i've collected some inspiration from pinterest, where i spend hours draining the battery on my iphone basking in all the beauty out there. enjoy!

(*these images are NOT mine, repinned via pinterest. had difficulty with finding original sources. here's where i found them: http://pinterest.com/erinjhunt/)

carnival

2011-08-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

tonight we took our little boy to a carnival in a field next to a farmstand just down the road.

seeing the lights twinkle in his eyes...
seeing the discovery in his face...
seeing the fear mixed with excitement....
reaching out for daddy's hand for security...
...all those seemingly tiny moments are the big moments.
this is our life, each circle 'round the carousel at a time.

my heart exploded with joy tonight. i made john promise that we'll return every year.

childcare

2011-08-18T12:31:00.000-07:00

:::deep breath:::

if there's one thing i've learned since being a mama, it's just how unique each mother/baby/father/family is. what works for one doesn't for another. what one person LOVES another can't stand.

natural birth or scheduled c-section,
breastfeeding or formula,
co-sleeping or crib sleeping,
the list goes on and on.

the facts are few and far between in parenting, most of this job comes from the heart, from the instinct that clicks on the moment your baby is born into the world. mama knows best.... because she knows HER baby best. but sometimes, with the onslaught of should's and suggestions out there, it's hard to trust those instincts.

one of the most difficult decisions (in my opinion) puts the forces of logic and love at odds. the objective financial obligations versus the subjective emotional obligations. this internal war wages on within parents everywhere about what is best for the family in terms of careers and childcare.

should a family sacrifice an entire income for one parent to stay at home? can one parent manage to work at home and care for the kids? is it necessary for a parent to give up their career? is it possible for a parent to give up their income? are there willing family members able to assist in childcare? is daycare a viable option? what about a babysitter?

and this decision is met with a great deal of judgement. "you're giving up your career?" "you're leaving your baby at daycare?" "you're hiring a nanny?"

just like with every other parenting decision, each family must make the decision that works best for them individually. currently, we have been blessed with the opportunity for wyeth to spend his time with his uncle, grandma, and their nanny three days a week while i work part time in the office. as an educator, john has taken over that responsibility for the summer and my husband and son get to bond three days a week, the three of us are together for the other four days of the week. we have found the happiest of compromises.

but with the birth of our second son, this situation will change. so we were faced with crunching numbers, facing facts, and weighing the best options for our boys.

after a lot of conversation and prayers, we decided that our best option was finding a live-in nanny to care for our two boys while john and i work full-time.

PROS: surprisingly, this option is more affordable than the day-care centers nearby. it comes with a litany of perks: the nanny will help with laundry and cooking during the day and will be available for a few hours in the evening so john and i can have a built-in babysitter to allow us to go to the gym or go on a date or run errands that currently never get done. it's a major comfort knowing that this woman will care only for our two sons in our own home (10 minutes away from my office). she will (hopefully) become part of the family and share a love for our sons and enjoy the opportunity to spend time with them. and she is from argentina, opening a new door to cultural learning and spanish speaking for our babes.

CONS: there's also a downside. first, two parents working full time mean two children being cared for 40 hours a week by someone else. that hurts the heart. stings a little. all of the tiny moments i was able to collect by being with wyeth 4 of 7 days a week will be more rare with november baby and wyeth as an 18 month old. it's really difficult to feel good leaving your own child in someone else's care so often. it's hard to sit at work and not wonder what miraculous moment you are missing. aside from that constant pull at the heartstrings, there are logistical issues with having a live-in caretaker. a complete stranger will share your sacred space: to live in your home, even when she's not working. we live in a cozy 4 bedroom home; her presence will not be subtle. also, there's an assumption that a live-in nanny is a lofty, expensive, leisurely pursuit meant only for the real housewives of orange county. that judgement is harsh, especially from family. and for us, there's the sadness that november baby won't have the opportunity to spend time with his uncle three days a week like wyeth did. (see: best buds)

so here we are, after a lot of prayers and many a miracle, living a life far beyond our expectations. we have our fair share of hurdles, but not a day goes by that we aren't thankful for the blessings in our life. having babies naturally, co-sleeping, unable to breastfeed, working full time, and having a nanny: who knew life would turn out this way?! but we've woven this incredible path full of bountiful blessings, and i wouldn't change a thing.

"we might not have it all together, but together we have it all"

what about you? how did you handle the childcare dilemma? was it even an issue for your family? would love to hear your thoughts...

my sons according to the stars

2011-08-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

my birthday is november 12th. november baby's due date is the 14th. we are scorpios.

Scorpio
Scorpio is the eighth sign of the zodiac, and that shouldn't be taken lightly -- nor should Scorpios! Those born under this sign are dead serious in their mission to learn about others. There's no fluff or chatter for Scorpios, either; these folks will zero in on the essential questions, gleaning the secrets that lie within. Scorpios concern themselves with beginnings and endings, and are unafraid of either; they also travel in a world that is black and white and has little use for gray. The curiosity of Scorpios is immeasurable, which may be why they are such adept investigators. These folks love to probe and know how to get to the bottom of things. The fact that they have a keen sense of intuition certainly helps.

The Scorpion symbolizes Scorpio, and that is no accident. Much like the Scorpion would rather kill itself than be killed, those born under this sign are in ultimate control of their destiny. It is life on the Scorpion's terms, too, since these folks promote their agenda (they are quite the executives) and see to it that things go forward. Others may find this overbearing and even self-destructive, but that's the beauty of the Scorpio: they have tremendous regenerative powers, much like the literal Scorpion can lose its tail and promptly grow a new one. Fearless Scorpios rarely lose; they just keep on going, since they are stubborn and determined to succeed (this Scorpio trait is in keeping with the Fixed Quality assigned to this sign). Scorpios work as hard as they do so they can someday sit back and feel satisfied with themselves. These folks are intense, passionate and filled with desire. They're also complex and secretive, so don't expect to get much out of them, lest they become suspicious and exit stage left. It's best not to bet against Scorpios, either, since these folks are surprisingly resourceful.

Scorpio is ruled by Mars and Pluto. Mars was the God of War in ancient Roman mythology and is the first (and most ancient) ruler of Scorpio. When Pluto was discovered in the 20th century, it was also assigned to this sign. Pluto was known as the God of the Underworld in ancient Roman times, so when coupled with Mars, expect some intense energy to head toward Scorpions here on Earth. This planetary combo makes for people who are motivated, penetrating and aware. Scorpions don't miss much, since they are highly attuned to the vibrations of others. They are intuitive, probing and very focused on knowing who's who and what's what. Scorpios can lose their temper (and even become vengeful) when someone gets in their way, so it's best to give them plenty of room. Remember, they're unafraid, and a loss today simply means an opportunity for victory tomorrow.

The Element associated with Scorpio is Water. As opposed to the 'roiling seas' seen in other Water Signs, a better motto for Scorpios would be 'still waters run deep.' Those born under this sign are as emotional as their waterborne brethren, it's just that they're not as likely to show it. The Scorpio's emotions are repressed, kept under cover. Again, these are secrets to be used another day. That said, be aware that these folks are clever, perceptive and always in the mix. Their ability to see into things can sometimes be a curse for Scorpios, however, since they can take an insignificant matter and turn it into a huge slight. Beware the Scorpio who feels crossed! These folks can turn vindictive in no time flat. Luckily, once Scorpios catch their breath, they will return to their usual determined and loyal (albeit strong-willed) ways. Finally, while Scorpios aren't above some subtle manipulation to get what they want, they'd much rather take a scientific, even mystical path. The Scorpio-born are powerful and passionate, qualities that serve them well, as long as they don't let them deteriorate into self-indulgence or compulsion.

Scorpios love competition in both work and play, which is why they'll air it out in sports and games. They've got to have an adversary, since it makes the game that much more fun. When it comes to love, though, Scorpios soften up a bit and are caring and devoted with their lovers.

The great strength of the Scorpio-born is in their determination, passion and motivation. Scorpios don't know the word quit, which is why they usually get the job done. A powerhouse? Like no other.

wyeth is a gemini.
Gemini
Gemini is the third sign of the zodiac, and those born under this sign will be quick to tell you all about it. That's because they love to talk! It's not just idle chatter with these folks, either. The driving force behind a Gemini's conversation is their mind. The Gemini-born are intellectually inclined, forever probing people and places in search of information. The more information a Gemini collects, the better. Sharing that information later on with those they love is also a lot of fun, for Geminis are supremely interested in developing their relationships. Dalliances with these folks are always enjoyable, since Geminis are bright, quick-witted and the proverbial life of the party. Even though their intellectual minds can rationalize forever and a day, Geminis also have a surplus of imagination waiting to be tapped. Can a Gemini be boring? Never!

Since Geminis are a mix of the yin and the yang, they are represented perfectly by the Twins. The Gemini-born can easily see both sides of an issue, a wonderfully practical quality. Less practical is the fact that you're not sure which Twin will show up half the time. Geminis may not know who's showing up either, which can prompt others to consider them fickle and restless.

They can be wishy-washy, too, changing their mood on a simple whim. It's this characteristic which readily suggests the Mutable Quality assigned to this sign. Mutable folks are flexible and go with the flow. Further, the Twins are adaptable and dexterous and can tackle many things at once. It's a good thing, too, when you consider their myriad interests. The downside of such a curious mind, however, can be a lack of follow-through. How much can any one person do, anyway?

Ruled by Mercury, Geminis exhibit a delicious brand of mercurial energy. They are quick-thinking, quick-witted and fast on their feet, much like the messenger god of Roman mythology that rules their sign. Geminis are both curious and clever, which is why they are such a hit at cocktail parties. Although they talk a great game, they also love to listen and learn. With any kind of luck, the Twins will find themselves in interesting company, because if they don't, they are likely to get bored and start fidgeting. Any social setting is a good one for a Gemini, however, since these folks are charming, congenial and love to share themselves with their friends. While their effusiveness may be misconstrued as scheming by some, Geminis generally have their hearts in the right place. It's that ample energy which can also paint them as scatterbrained and unfocused, but behind all that zipping around, the Twins are busily filing all that good data away.

The element associated with Gemini is Air. Air signs are the thinking person's signs, and the Twins don't disappoint. Those born under this sign prize intellect and consider it the key to all things. At work, they are the clearest of thinkers, looking at a project from all (well, at least two) sides and putting forth some logical and well-thought-out ideas. This quality makes Geminis an asset to any team, and while these folks are not inclined to take the lead, they are a most valuable component. It's also the Gemini's literary bent that allows them to offer a useful perspective on most any situation. The Twins also enjoy bringing their objective reasoning and big-picture ability into their personal relationships. While some may perceive all this logical thought as cold and unemotional, it's simply how these folks tick. They want to connect, they just do it their own way. Luckily for Geminis (and their pals), their lightness of spirit and youthful exuberance help them to appear forever young. In keeping with that skip in their step, Geminis enjoy short road trips -- and their agile minds and nimble hands ensure that they could change a tire (if needed) in no time flat. Is all of this Twin-energy more than any one person can handle? Ah, maybe that's why they are two.

When it comes to sports, Geminis would seem a natural for doubles tennis -- and they are. They love the camaraderie of games and play, which is why they excel at team events. Whether it's volleyball or a game of charades, Geminis are always ready to play. A book club would certainly stimulate their literary minds. In the game of love, Geminis are playful, flirtatious and endless fun. Physically speaking, Gemini rules the nervous system, which is why Twins should practice yoga or deep breathing techniques. Layering themselves in soft yellows and blues will also calm their mood.

The great strength of the Gemini-born is in their ability to communicate effectively and to think clearly. Adventures of the mind are what the Twins are all about. They also love to share themselves with their friends, and they make for charming companions.

TOGETHER? A formidable team.

Scorpio

A relationship between a Gemini and a Scorpio is a combination of opposites. But Gemini and Scorpio are fascinated by each other’s differences, and together they form a formidable team. Gemini are more flexible and more sociable, while Scorpio are more focused and more resolute. Gemini are light hearted towards things, while Scorpio have a strong fidelity to their friends. They both long for different things, but if they cooperate with each other, they could accomplish fantastic outcomes.

A partnership between a Gemini and a Scorpio generally works towards the common ambitions of both of them. Scorpio have a jealous nature, and Gemini could, on occasions, be indifferent and detached. This could lead to arguments between them, which Gemini often take lightly. Scorpio are more patient than Gemini, but are also more possessive. Both star signs love taking risks and chances, and could have lots of excitement together; there is seldom a dull streak in their friendship. Gemini are more social and outgoing, while Scorpio are more secretive and reserved. Thus, at times, they might not comprehend each other’s actions. They need to communicate well to understand each other.

The ruling planet of Gemini is Mercury, and the ruling planets of Scorpio are Mars and Pluto. Gemini’s outstanding conversational skills could compensate for the taciturn and reticent nature of Scorpio. Mars represents passion. Scorpio’s energy could be used to increase the excitement and fun of both partners. Gemini and Scorpio both enjoy facing and solving problems. Frenzied arguments would not put down either of them, and they almost always solve their disputes quickly. The influence of Pluto brings in additional intensity to the partnership.

Gemini is an air sign, and Scorpio is a water sign. These elements, in general, combine well. The partnership focuses on the intellectual and emotional sides of things. The scorpion is a good tactician, and could help the twins settle down and plan things before committing themselves to action. The twins could teach the scorpion to focus its attention on other schemes, once one plan goes wrong. Scorpio could be emotionally manipulative as well. If Gemini and Scorpio learn to collaborate instead of contending with each other, they could have an awesome relationship.

Gemini is a mutable sign, and Scorpio is a fixed sign. Gemini could show Scorpio how to do things just for fun, rather than always working towards some set objective. Scorpio could show Gemini how to focus on one plan and finish it, before moving to the next one. Both friends are dedicated to each other. When they understand each other well, it binds them even further. Gemini are the intellectual leader in the relationship, providing logical reasoning and practical judgment; Scorpio are the emotional leader, controlling and manipulating feelings and desires.

The best aspect of a friendship between a Gemini and a Scorpio is their combined energy and ability when they work together. They could attain practically anything they want. Gemini and Scorpio strive hard and never give up; forming a team that do whatever it takes to get whatever they want!

via

the one who loves you the most

2011-08-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

my dear sons,

we will always be the ones who love you the most. always.

love,
mama & pappa

update on the boys

2011-08-15T06:36:00.000-07:00

j. wyeth hunt iv
weight: 24 pounds
height: 32"
tricks: cruising (no longer just walking), saying a few words (mama remains my favorite), attempting to climb out of his high chair, taking off his own diaper (haha!), going to bed without a fuss, perfecting the booty shake, and enjoying bike rides, drum sounds, and his daddy.

november baby

weight: 2 pounds

height: 14.5"

tricks: kicking with the strength of david beckham, hiccupping, and taking it easy on his mama (i feel great!)

**We think November Baby has officially been named, but our lips our sealed. 2 reasons: 1. people offer their unwanted opinion about how much they like/dislike the baby's name. 2. we're only 95% sure, things could change when we see his face. :)

27 weeks

(Note: If November Baby stays inside the same length of time as Wyeth, he will be born in 10 weeks. OHMYGAH!

while the boys are away...

2011-08-13T04:21:00.000-07:00

john and wyeth headed upstate on wednesday for an extended camping adventure without me. while initially i was SO SAD to see them go, i've made the best of my time alone (well, with november baby in the belly, who i've been talking to quite a bit!)

on wednesday i met up with some wonderful friends to see crazy, stupid, love. it was funny and cheesy and cute.... and ryan gosling is undeniably delicious! afterwards we went to chili's for some appetizers and conversation. it was a great night with the girls and by the time i got home, i was too tired to lament over the absence of my loves. :)

on thursday after work, i headed into new york city to meet my best friend m for dinner at our favorite restaurant. it was divinely delicious, as always. from there we took a quick cab ride over the williamsburg bridge to brooklyn to meet up with our friend sami and listen to some awesome music. november baby and i really enjoyed it! then we took the train ride home and by 2:00am when my head hit the pillow, i again was too tired to be sad about missing my boys.

on friday i made a long overdue appointment for a haircut and some highlights (my roots were straight up embarassing). it was lovely to be pampered without worrying about the time. after my time at the beauty salon, i headed to the hardware store, haha. :) i picked up some paint and some material for a few projects around the house where i spent the rest of the afternoon and evening. i repainted a picture mirror, our mailbox, our shower curtain rod, and a hand-me-down dresser. i scrubbed the tub and shower with abandon. i mopped the floors and did laundry. i windexed every single window in our house. i cleaned the tiny handprints off the cabinets and doors (i am actually excited for him to come home and dirty it up again! seriously! i love those little marks of a home shared with love embodied!) i even watched an episode of jersey shore (dispicable, i know) and caught up on some reading! there's a lot more to do, but i felt so accomplished. i went to bed feeling equally energized and exhausted.

today (saturday) i woke up bright and early (4:44am, to be exact- the time wyeth was born on 5/31/10). i've remopped the floors, folded laundry, brushed the dog, and pinned my little heart out on pinterest in preparation for today's newborn shoot with jeanne!

also in the process, i've been searching for and emailing with potential au pairs. this is exciting as i can't wait to welcome someone new into our family to love and care for our children! please pray that we find the right match! :)

i'm off to do a million more things and incessantly text my husband asking for pictures of wyeth and the location of various tools. :) enjoy your weekend! xo

letters to wyeth

2011-08-10T06:01:00.000-07:00

dear wyeth,

one day before i know it, you'll be a grown man....
leaving the house with carkeys in hand,
walking hand in hand with your new bride,
accepting your first job offer,
maybe even welcoming your own child into the world.....
and even though you'll outgrow me (probably soon!) i'll always see you as my little boy.

luckily, you have given me thousands of moments to remember and hold on to. to cherish in my heart and to nourish my being as life marches madly on.

like at night, when i rock you in your rockingchair-- you hold a bottle, i read you the book you've chosen from the shelf, and when you've finished your milk and i've finished the book, you hand me your bottle, turn around, put your arms around my neck and snuggle your tiny face into my shoulder, and we continue to rock until your eyelids fall down. and i hold you in my arms and bubble over with gratitude that i've been given this little boy- love incarnate- to rock ever so gently to sleep.

i love you, sweet boy.

<3 mama

pinterest crafts

2011-08-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

these are projects currently on my pinterest to do board.

Started "LOVE"

I have 230498230 mason jars left over from our wedding :)

so pricey on anthro, so easy with a sewing machine!

are you on pinterest? come say hi and share your inspiration! erinjhunt

i'm obsessed with all the beautiful found there.....

return

2011-08-08T06:18:00.000-07:00

after a long, slow, restful vacation.... we are back.

shortly before leaving, wyeth developing pneumonia and a double ear infection. he was miserable but a trooper, as always. this made for a delayed departure and interesting sleeping patterns while away... but the fresh air and all the love from family healed the little guy and now he is back to is full-speed-ahead self.

we spent the week going slow, as we were all feeling less than ourselves. we read books. we talked by the campfire. we rode bikes to the lake. we watched wyeth discover and play with his cousin finn. we counted the stars. we went for a hike. we played lots of games. we took naps. we restored ourselves.

we left and attended a beautiful wedding for an old friend (and stunning bride!) then continued home for a lovely sail, dinner, and late night chat with my old roommate and best friend from san fran. wyeth came home on sunday and life took on its normal pace.... back to work and play and chores and adventures. there's a sadness creeping in as the last few weeks of august glare at me insolently from the calendar. i see september peeking through and know that means john will be back to work. on the bright side, it also means a new addition to our family and the reality of november baby joining us as well! just 14 more weeks! eep!

john and wyeth will be returning to lake george on wednesday, leaving me to hold down the fort at home and in the office. i've been away from wyeth and john before, but never in our home. our home will suddenly be transformed to mere walls without his pitter patter and giggles and general mess. but i'll continue reading the most addicting books series ever. and i've made plans to go see a movie with friends and take a trip nyc to my favorite restaurant with my favorite lady. it'll be strange and lovely to be completely on my own (aside from november baby, of course) for the first time in quite a while!

have a wonderful week, friends!

away we go...

2011-07-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

since the moment it got warm out... we've been on the go.

to san francisco, then to cincinati for a wedding, then disney with the whole hunt clan!, now lake george, then fire island, and finally boston to see my best friend and her boy....

all that mixed in with a ton of evening sails, BBQs, and long nights on the lawn watching the moonrise and the fireflies flicker...

and somewhere in the midst of all this living, our son learned to WALK, our baby grew to the size of an eggplant (!!!!!), and our family is strengthened in love...

here we are.

here we go.

Lake George

daydreaming

2011-07-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

lately, when the stress of work and childcare and homeownership and life get me frazzled, i close my eyes and transport myself back to this moment.... in the crisp, clean air of napa valley... giggling with my boys... surrounded by our friends... loving life.

life is fragile (rant for the day)

2011-07-25T11:38:00.000-07:00

this weekend with the tragedy in oslo and the death of amy winehouse, we are reminded that life is fragile. at any given moment, we can lose a battle with addiction or fall victim to another's mental battle with society. we are at the will of the greater forces that be, so in each moment, all we can do is find the good. make the choice to see the happy, to enjoy the moment, to forgive, to laugh, to make the best of it. because there's not a soul on earth that knows what tomorrow will bring.

russell brand's tribute to amy winehouse is particularly resonant. people suffer. we all suffer our own demons. it is not our place to judge, particularly when it appears that the strength to conquer the enemy was insufficient.

i keep coming back to this passage, as our dear friend lauren read at our wedding:

Brothers and sisters:

Let mutual love continue.

Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels.

Be mindful of prisoners as if sharing their imprisonment,

and of the ill-treated as of yourselves,

for you also are in the body.

Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled.

Let your life be free from love of money but be content with what you have,

for he has said, I will never forsake you or abandon you.

as i sit here in front of the computer late at night, my head swarming with thoughts about these tragedies and life and purpose, all i can do is sigh... kiss my sleeping husband, tip toe into my baby's room and watch his chest rhytmically rise and fall, place my hands on my ever-growing belly and wait for a kick from my tiny son, and thank the powers that be for another beautiful day, another opportunity to find happiness around us and go out into the world and be good to one another.

via etsy

first steps

2011-07-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Wyeth,

Today, on the 8th anniversary of the start of your father and my love, you started something important, too.

You took your very first steps, surrounded by your loving family who cheered you on.

Those symbolic first steps... the same motion of putting one foot in front of the other that you will continue to do the rest of your life.... into the classroom on your first day of school.... towards your first love and away from your first heartache... onto the plane for your first adventure in the world.... down the aisle (if you so choose) to marry your best friend... and in just a few months, into the hospital room to meet your little brother.

You make me proud, little man. You continue to be happy and fun and easy and peaceful and kind. You are an example of how we should live: soaking up every moment, finding joy in the simplest of things, forgiving, forgetting, and forging forward.

So walk on, little boy. March forward, down whatever path will lead you to happiness. And know that, just like the first steps you took, you will always have a ton of family around to cheer you on and help you up when you stumble.

All our love,
Your family

pretty excited about this awesome idea for the kids from @barleyandbirch

2011-07-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

the creative folks over a barley & birch have come up with an easy, awesome little project for kids to make bathtub lots of fun (just like rubber ducky). can't wait to try this!

BATHTUB CRAYONS

image via

What you will need:
-Your favorite bar soap
- Warm water
- Food coloring
- Bowls to work in
- Cheese grater
Steps:

1. Grate your bar soap. Use as many bars as you want, the more you use, the more crayons you get.
2. Divide the soap flakes into as many bowls as you want. Each bowl will be used for a different crayon color.
3. Add a few drops of food coloring into each bowl. Slowly add the warm water and mix the mixture until you get a thick, doughy consistency. If you accidentally add too much water, and it gets too liquidy, don’t worry! – Just add more soap!
4. Mold the soap “dough” into crayon shapes, or get fancy and use cookie cutters to make shapes.
5. Place your new crayons in the freezer for about 10 minutes.
6. Let the crayons completely dry out for a day, maybe two, depending on your climate.
7. Let your kids draw all over the bathtub and tile walls. The more they play, the cleaner they get.

Disclaimer: This should not stain in any way, shape, or form. I would, however, strongly recommend testing a crayon out yourself before handing them over to the kids. Enjoy your test time…. A lot.

And for added enjoyment, here is Wyeth in his favorite Barley & Birch organic tee

(gifted from Auntie Martha):

song lyrics

2011-07-13T07:57:00.000-07:00

some of my favorite song lines:

"if dreams were like thunder and lightening was desire, this old house would have burned down a long time ago" -bonnie raitt, angel from montgomery

"if dreams are like movies then memories are films about ghosts" -counting crows, mrs. potter's lullabye

"i'd like to see your eyes open up real wide the minute that you see me" -counting crows, up all night

"ain't got no time to waste, got too much life to taste" -bob schneider, 40 dogs

"echoes and silence, patience and grace, all of these moments i'll never replace, no fear of my heart or absence of faith, and all i want is to be home" -foo fighters, home

"the poor boy puts on aftershave to compensate for his ordinary shoes" -paul simon, diamonds on the soles of her shoes

"first thing i remember i was lying in my bed, couldn't have been more than one or two, and i remember there's a radio coming from the room next door, and my mother laughed the way some ladies do, it was late in the evening, with the music seeping through" -paul simon, late in the evening

"she had rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes, i knew without asking she was into the blues" -grateful dead, scarlet begonia

"then as it was, again it will be, though the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea" -led zeppelin, ten years gone

what lyrics move you?

breastfeeding advice?

2011-07-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

one of the most amazing God given miracles was shortly after giving birth to my son, we were given the opportunity to bond through breastfeeding. he latched right away, it didn't hurt, and we were in love.

unfortunately, a week after returning home with my boy, we were rushed to the emergency room from our first doctor's appointment. wyeth had lost a substantial amount of weight and the doctors were very concerned. after a variety of tests, it was recommended that i switch to formula so that i could monitor wyeth's exact intake. i was devastated and afraid. i was convinced breastfeeding was the right path for us, but as brand new parents, i wasn't ready to put up a fight for what i believed in. so we compromised and after only one week, i began pumping so that wyeth could still have breastmilk AND we could monitor his exact intake.

the good news: wyeth started gaining and was back to a healthy weight in no time.

the bad news: after the first few bottles, wyeth began refusing me and only taking a bottle.

the worst news: after only 5 weeks of pumping exclusively, my supply did not meet wyeth's needs. he was hungry. i could not pump enough.

so here i am, pregnant again, with different ideas about breastfeeding. my son who only had 6 weeks of breastmilk is happy, healthy, easy going, fun loving, and all around wonderful. i take major issue with the UK government sponsoring the "breast is best" campaign, as no government knows what is BEST for MY child. i think what is best is what works best for mother, child, and family.

nonetheless, i'd like to attempt breastfeeding again this time around. my concerns this time:
1. the same thing will happen to November Baby as happened with Wyeth. how do i prevent this?
2. i have to go back to work much sooner after baby #2. how will i balance work, pumping, and breastfeeding?

i've read so many beautiful blogs about women able to beat the odds and breastfeed happily for twelve months, but i read a lot fewer accounts of working moms succeeding. is it possible? what are your tips/stories/experience/advice? have you read any books/articles/blogs that helped? i'd LOVE to hear from you.... here or via email erin.j.hunt (at) gmail (dot) com.

thanks!

summerlove

2011-07-11T11:42:00.000-07:00

i haven't spent much time at the computer other than when i'm at work. this is where i've been:

...sailing with my boys....

... and seeing the handsome face of our newest little boy....

...and savouring the smiling face of our eldest son....

...and admiring papa in the park with wyeth....

...and taking sunset sails on date night....

....after dinner near the beach at our favorite place...

...and keeping cool with lemon & mint ice water....

...and watching the magic of fireworks from the bay....

...and growing a baby!

where we live

2011-06-30T06:19:00.000-07:00

we bought a house about a year ago in a little long island town. we live exactly one mile from my father, stepmother, and little brothers (24 and 3 years old). we live literally around the block from my godfather, aunt, and cousins (13, 12, 9). we live 15 minutes from my sister, BIL, and nephew (18 months). we live 20 minutes from my in-laws and mother and stepfather. nobody is far.

we dream about living under the Big Sky in Montana or where homes and property taxes aren't astronomical (especially north carolina!)... but we chose here, with family. and there are some other perks to living on this island:

we're only 50 miles from the greatest city in the world. this is something we often take forgranted, but if/when i feel the urge to revisit my old apartment or hang out at the Met for the day, we're a short train ride away.

we live far enough away from the city that we are 36 seconds from a billion farm stands.

another perk: pretty awesome wineries (with live music!) within 15 minutes.

there's also a great university and its hospital nearby, always a plus.

the hamptons (which we avoid) and montauk (which we hope doesn't become the hamptons) aren't far.

and the north fork has its own little gems in mattituck, jamesport, and greenport.

and most of all, the island allows from amazing sailing on our FREE sailboat. (yes, free. john got it for ZERO dollars on craiglist. it's a 25' S2.) in 20 minutes, we can be on our boat, sailing around the great south bay or over to fire island.

we were having a lot more fun than it looks.

& i did NOT intentionally wear that shirt.

& i am 6 months pregnant, not just out of shape.

so while there might be traffic to get anywhere.... and the winters are incredibly boring.... and the property taxes are second highest in the entire united states.... and many of us have terrible accents.... i do love long island. when are you coming to visit? :)

being a brother

2011-06-29T14:08:00.000-07:00

dear wyeth,

you are going to be the best brother. you are so close in age and spend so much time with your uncle aidan, that the two of you might as well be brothers.

aidan has known you and loved you since the day you were born (except that one time when you were brand new and grandee held you-- he didn't like sharing grandee). these experiences have shaped your being in ways that can barely be defined with words, but can be seen in the smallest of instances... when you gladly turn over a toy to a friend because you've learned to share from aidan... or when you chant what sounds like "aaaaaa -dun" when you wake up in the morning... or when you crawl excitedly towards your little mentor whenever you see him.... or when the two of you hug and tackle each other to the floor in a fit of giggles....

you are two of the most important little men in my life and it brings such joy to see you grow together. and i know that you both will look after the new little boy that is soon to joy our world.

son, we might not have a traditional family, but it certainly is a wonderful thing to be a part of. we are blessed to endure the struggles and the triumphs with so many family members by our side.

i love you, i love your uncle, i love the bond you two share, and i can't wait to see that brotherly love multiple again when November Baby Boy arrives.

all my love,
mama

holy melon batman

2011-06-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

According to thebump, Baby Boy #2 is now the size of a big ol' cantaloupe. He's longer than my Subway sandwich. He's huge. And he's almost here.

That paradox of time is stalking our happy little home. I want to yell "STOP! SLOW DOWN!" My baby boy is growing too fast. This pregnancy is speeding past. I just want to linger a little longer in this moment.

But then I want to nudge time along a bit, to hurry up and get to November to meet my sweet son. And I want to tell time to hurry up and get to 3 and 4 when my boys will be playing with earthworms and flowers in the yard, bickering and bantering and being boys. my boys.

Oh Time, what a fickle friend you are.

women deserve a choice

2011-06-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

friends-- those who are given the responsibility of bringing life into this world deserve a choice in how to do so. some women have epidurals, others schedule c-sections, others use hypnobabies, others birth at home. regardless of how you choose to bring your children into the world, we all deserve a CHOICE.

at this time, there is only one hospital on all of Long Island providing women the opportunity to labor and deliver in water. This hospital, unfortunately, it ultimately is too far for many and sadly comes with a terrible reputation.

There may be an opportunity on the horizon, however. Stony Brook University Hospital is a state of the art facility where I gave birth to my son last year with the assistance of midwives. They are progressive, accommodating, safe, and effectice. Unfortunately, the only thing lacking at Stony Brook is the CHOICE for women to labor and deliver in water.They are in the midst of constructing a new Labor and Delivery Unit and need encouragement to add water birthing tubs.

if you support the idea that women should have the CHOICE to labor and deliver in water, please leave a comment or email me with your full name so that I can add you to this petition to the CEO of Stony Brook Hospital. thank you in advance for your support of women's choice.

--------------------------------------------

unexpected blessings

2011-06-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

Dear November Baby,

After the miraculous birth of your brother, your Papa and I decided that we were "in the family business" and we would lovingly accept future children into our homes if we were so lucky. And on St. Patrick's Day, while Wyeth was snoring in his crib and Dad was late at work... I took a few little pregnancy tests that confirmed that we would be blessed again. It was an unexpected blessing; the most amazing kind.

Our journey together thus far has been remarkably different than my previous pregnancy. With you, I had morning sickness day, noon, and night. I had serious food aversions and cravings (anything sweet, please)! My body responded in such a new way: I look and feel differently. I took all of these signs to mean that your gender was different than your brothers', too. I thought for sure you were a little girl. But then today, early in the morning on the summer solstice, surrounded by Dad, Wyeth, and Malin, the sonogram technician showed us your boy parts ever so clearly. An unexpected blessing, the most amazing kind.

I was immediately overwhelmed with excitement for the future of our family. Two boys less than two years apart. You will be the fiercest of friends and the closest of competitors. You will be covered in mud and full of spirit. You'll share clothes and memories and friends and fights. You'll be mama's boys and daddy's shadows. Your father and I are so lucky to have been given this gift of two sons, but you two boys are so lucky to have each other. An unexpeced blessing, the most amazing kind.

You have already taught us so much about you-- that while you share a gender with your brother, you are different, unique, all your own. You were stubborn today during the sonogram, but peaceful and content. Seeing you today in black and white on the screen has made me all tingly with the anticipation to see you in living color; to hold you in my arms, to study your face and stare into your tiny eyes and hold you close to my heart. With only a few months together, you have reminded me of one of life's most important lessons: there is so much joy in the unexpected.

I love you, my sweet son. We are all so excited to meet you.

Love,
Mama

magic

2011-06-16T13:53:00.000-07:00

dear november baby,

last night, as i lay in bed next to your father, i told him about this article i read in the nytimes about thousands of fireflies that come out each year in the great smoky mountains and entertain visitors with a synchronized, mysterious light show. "let's put that on our to-do list," i told him. he proceeded to find various youtube videos demonstrating this amazing phenomenon that we watched together, in the dark, with the dog at our feet and wyeth sleeping soundly in his crib. we were astounded at the magic of it all.

as i watched, i rested my hand on my belly, and could feel the exact outline of your entire body. i brought your papa's hand over to feel, too. we fell silent, pressing gently against the outline of your being, gazing out the open window watching for fireflies in our own yard. and then in that moment i realized that a trip to tennesee isn't necessary to see something phenomenal.... all i need to do is glance down at you growing in my belly.

like the fireflies, you are this mysterious, natural miracle. with each kick, you flicker in the souls of this family. there is a lightness about you that we can all just sort of sense. you are magic. so mysterious, so small, and so life changing. you are remarkable, little one, and we cannot wait to marvel in your majesty for all the days to come.

all our love,

mom
dad
& w

PS- they reset the votes again. and don't care much about my ranking, but do care a lot about the people that find me through TBB. so if you could throw a vote my way, i'd appreciate it. thanks! :)

preggo belly style, week whatever

2011-06-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

i haven't posted these ridiculous posts in a while. i've failed, as expected.

but truth be told, i was doing you all a favor. see- my hair hasn't been brushed since the last post five weeks ago, the nail polish on my toes has been chipping off (is completely of 6 of 10 toes), and due to my aversion to laundry- my clothes options have been minimal (see confessions and photos of laundry below).

it's hot. i'm pregnant. that's my excuse.

nonetheless, here are a few salvagable photos of The Bump.

Week 16
Dress via Etsy mentioned HERE!

Week 17
Dress via Gap

Week 18
BEST SKIRT for PREGGOS EVER! $10!

And a naked baby giving the peace sign for good measure.

You're welcome.

i found pretty things

2011-06-09T06:20:00.000-07:00

last time i posted about things i wanted on etsy, my mama surprised me with one of the dresses! she rocks. and i wore it to wyeth's first birthday party!

(of which i will eventually post pictures. eventually.)

anyway, here are some pretty little things:

open back white eyelet dress

bike pint glasses!

wouldn't this make the most amazing play house?

summer

a dainty little clock

can someone please find me this skirt?

via weheartit

on sweet potatoes

2011-06-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

I just read that baby #2 is currently the size of a sweet potato. This initiates a massive tornado of thoughts inside my little mind. This is kinda how it goes:

(Be warned, we're not in Kansas anymore)

Baby 2 is a sweet potato? Holy sh&t.
Wyeth loves sweet potatoes.
Will Baby 2 like sweet potatoes?
I can't wait to make baby food again.
Where did I put all those little containers?
Probably in the masses of clothes that I need to organize.
Oh my God I have so much to do before baby 2!
I need to go to Ikea to get another crib.
Holy Sh&t there are going to be TWO cribs for my TWO children.
ChildREN. As in plural. As in two. I'm having two babies.
Not twins. Although holy Sh&t there could be twins.
There can't be twins. I'll find out in two weeks if there are twins.
I am so much bigger than last time.
I have eaten everything and anything, including candy and ice cream like it's my job.
That's why I'm bigger, because I'm an eating machine.
I'm not having twins.
Is Baby 2 a boy or girl?
Oh hi Baby 2! I just felt you move!
I only have 22 weeks left to name this child.
I don't like any baby names.
They are either too common or too weird.
Or trying too hard.
Or too easily mispronounced.
Or too easily made fun of, like Weiner.
HAHAHA oh the recent headlines.
Am I 13?

I'm the mother of 2 laughing at Weiner jokes.

paradox of parenting

2011-06-06T18:55:00.000-07:00

the contradictory nature of time continues to boggle my mind. while it feels like wyeth has always been a part of our life, i also can't believe it's already been a year since he arrived. and there's a paradox of parenting in that want to hold onto each moment, keep my little baby in my arms forever, while at the same time, i urge my son to grow up, to step forward into tomorrow. roots and wings.

the month of may moved all too quickly. it overflowed: full of emotion and stress and family and everything but time. we celebrated a wedding and a birthday and mourned the loss of a great, great man. every weekend we were consumed with reflection and obligations and travel. and in the silent moments before sleep each night, we were thankful for each moment together, but also wishing for more.

so wyeth's end of the month birthday celebration crept up upon us, like a sudden rumbling of a summer storm. somehow we managed to pull together all the ideas we collected for our little man's day. and after a few late nights, a few stressful days, and a lot of help from our family, our son had a beautiful party, surrounded by the generous village of family and friends that consistently showers wyeth in love.

our guests finally went home, the party tent taken down, and the last of the balloons deflated. the house was quiet, filled only by the giggles and roars of our one year old. we finally had a chance to sit with our son and admire the journey he has taken us on over the past year. it has been nothing less than extraordinary. in the past yea, our house hasn't been clean, our laundry hasn't been put away, and we've had to learn life anew: but our souls have been so nourished by nothing more than our little love's presence. we looked into his big blue eyes and thought back to the first moments of his existence, when we studied his every feature. i retold his birth story, marking each passing hour with "this time last year...". we were full of nostalgia for the year gone by, grasping for just a few more moments with our baby.

and as if November Baby knew we were heavy heartedly grasping to hold on to the past, s/he moved us to the future. on the day after Wyeth's birthday, November Baby made him/herself known to John: he could feel the baby move inside my womb. it was as if NB wanted to remind us that while time is marching feverishly on, we have been ever so blessed with the opportunity to again slow down and relish on things like tiny noises and itsy toes. life with NB will undoubtedly exhaust us, but it will also help us to take it slow, savor each moment that we now know passes ever too quickly.

and so in the lazy summer evenings as i hold wyeth's hands as he learns to tip-toe through the grass, i realize that my children are helping me to take steps forward, too. bravely, into the future, as a family... a family of four.

via

confessions

2011-06-03T06:56:00.000-07:00

i plan on sharing pictures of wyeth's camping birthday party, even some pictures from san francisco, wyeth's actual birthday (complete with feeding ducks and cupcakes on the beach), and an update on baby #2. but until then, here are some ugly truths you should know about me.

i'm terrible at answering the phone, returning borrowed items, and being on time.
i rarely go to the doctor (i do go to the midwife while pregnant and take w to the ped reguarly, though)
i have pictures on my point and shoot from over a year and a half ago.
john and i are really bad at putting laundry away, which means every room in our house is usually covered in clothing, both clean and dirty.
i should shower more often.
the suitcase i brought to san francisco is still on the floor in our room, with clothes spewing out of it.
all i want most days this pregnancy is a huge caramel frappucino from starbucks or mcdonalds.
wyeth has about a billion items of clothing. they are not organized by size. i'm going to need about a week to organize them all for baby #2.
not only do i cry at beyonce and katy perry, but miley cyrus's "the climb" AND taylor swift's "fifteen" make me all weepy, too. (it's pathetic, i know)
we've lived in our house for well over a year, and there are still a LOT of boxes in the garage that need to be unpacked.
one of our couches smells funny. we can't find the cause.
i regift from time to time. (sorry for those of you reading this who have given me gifts and are now wondering if i've regifted your gifts.)
sometimes the thought of having two under two terrifies me.

two proposal videos worth watching

2011-06-02T06:59:00.000-07:00

God bless our troops... and the loved ones that wait for their return. I cried like a BABY watching her run over to him. Whew.

This one might not make you cry, but it is pretty impressive. Scrabble tiles? Nice touch.

For the record, John proposed to me on a dock, next to the bay, while walking our dog.... he walked at full speed about 5 feet in front of me the whole time. Then with shaky hands asked if I'd spend the rest of my days with him. And all I could say was "Holy Sh&t" repeatedly. Haha. <3

iphone birthday photos

2011-06-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

wyeth spent his actual birthday sleeping late, eating all his favorite foods, feeding the ducks, playing in the park, digging our toes in the sand at the beach, throwing rocks in the sound, playing with sticks and ants and bubbles in the yard, swimming in his new kiddie pool, eating watermelon on the front porch, blowing bubbles and playing with balloons with Daddy, dancing to the happy birthday song, washing the sunscreen and sand and dirt and fun from the day in a big bubble bath, and getting a few extra hugs and kisses and cuddles before bed. it was a happy day indeed.

here are a few iphone photos from his "happy camper" party and wyeth's first birthday.

more to come (as soon as i actually plug my cameras into the computer.)

campfire cupcakes

smores kit and "hobo bags" packed with goodies for favors

the birthday boy!

lanterns made with love by auntie d and uncle chris

watermelon on the porch with mama

daddy brought balloons home!

happy birthday, baby

2011-05-30T19:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Wyeth,

Happy birthday eve, my son! On this day last year, my body began the process of bringing you into the world. Today, as we floated together in the same pool that eased my contractions a year ago, I was overwhelmed with the millions of memories that we have made in this past year: when you smiled for the first time, that first big belly laugh, your first swim in Lake George, the tiny sounds you made while sleeping, the sleepless nights feeding and rocking and loving you, the first time you crawled, when you slept on the flight home from California, when you peed all over us in the hospital room, when you learned to dance in your high chair, the endless jumping in the doorway, your hugs and kisses and smiles.... You have brought so much light, so much joy, and so much laughter into our world.

Today you took a nap on my chest, snuggled against me with your big, long baby boy body just like you used to do when you were a mere six pounds. And I couldn't help but think back to all of the sleepy newborn moments we shared, heart to heart, in the hazy days that started your life. It feels like an eternity ago you were so small-- you've changed and grown and expanded the boundaries of my heart beyond what I ever imagined possible.

You are the happiest human I've ever met. You smile at everyone, you share your greenbeans on the bus in San Francisco, you freely give hugs to anyone you can wrap your arms around, and best of all, you bring a smile to the faces of everyone you encounter. You love to dance, you love to make noise, you love to listen to your dad play guitar. You sleep through the night, but if you're having fun, you'll skip naps and stay up late without getting fussy-- you don't want to miss a minute of fun. Your face lights up when Daddy comes home from work, or Aidan comes to play, or we visit Grandma and Grandpa. You are pure joy, love embodied, and the most wonderful blessing we have ever received.

I just snuck into your room to watch you sleep and dream your last baby dreams... for tomorrow you'll wake up a one year old, a toddler, a little boy. And I will love you more than ever. Thank you for the best year of our lives so far.

All my love,

Mama

awesome church signs

2011-05-27T08:41:00.000-07:00

via facebook

via

Have a happy weekend, friends! :)

Name my baby

2011-05-26T12:44:00.000-07:00

friends- i am at a loss for baby names this time around.

with pregnancy number #1, as soon as we found out the baby was a boy, his name was known: john wyeth hunt iv, after his proud papa and grandpa and great grandpa and the doctors that introduced his great great grandpa to his great great grandma. there's a long line of love stories and triumphs and honor attached to jwh4's name, but a uniqueness, too, as he is the only one known as wyeth. so while his names holds an entire history, it is equally brand new and all his own.

now i'm pregnant again. this baby name needs to be just as meaningful and wonderful, but i've got nothin'. i think this baby is a girl (but i will find out for sure june 21st!) either way, i have a few names and a few ideas, but nothing that moves me.

so please help!

any great websites?

any suggestions?

any name books we should read to each other at night?

here's what we've got:

girls boys

wesleigh maxwell

magnolia colin

zara shane

kenleigh terence

hannah kenson

a few notes:

we'd love to somehow incorporate vincenza or roder or caroline
my best friend is a pillar of strength and grace, so we would love to include her name "leigh" in the name
our last name is hunt... so any name that ends in a "ck" sound is no good.

thanks for helping name our baby. :)

chalkboard love

2011-05-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

i found these little gems yesterday at the local craft store for wyeth's party saturday. so i decided to share some chalkboard love for you on this lovely little thursday.

via etsy, posted on unrulythings

via etsy

via

anniversary

2011-05-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

yesterday was our second wedding anniversary.

our first year of marriage sped by: sailing and camping and laughing and all of the anticipation for our first little love. but this second year of marriage seems to have lasted an entire lifetime; perhaps because it has: wyeth's entire life has existed solely in our second year of marriage. and we've filled this second year with an eternity of moments, surrounded by the love of our growing family. i know so many people say that time flies when you have children, but this year with wyeth seems to have lasted forever, in the best possible way.

maybe it's because we've lingered a little longer on each moment.... we've stayed nestled inside the cocoon of our family's love...

or maybe it's because wyeth has always been a part of us, hidden deep inside our hearts and souls.

and suddenly our anniversary is here again, and we look back, remembering the day we pledged ourselves to each other, we listened as deacon Steve asked us to look at one another's hands-- telling us that these hands would be the ones to hold our children one day....

and we can't help but look forward, full with that same anticipation we felt last may 24th, waiting for a new gift to join our family and compound our love times a million.

so in two years, with two babies, and a million moments of dedication and love and patience and marriage.

cheers to us, john. and to so very many more.

baby book tee's

2011-05-23T09:24:00.000-07:00

these are pretty awesome! via the mini-social

cry baby

2011-05-20T06:47:00.000-07:00

in my last pregnancy, whenever this song came on, i couldn't help but WEEP.

this time around, this little ditty pushes me over the edge, each time. and it's ridiculous.

Have a happy, tear-free weekend! xo

drowning

2011-05-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

every now and again, life spins out of control and i find myself trying to regain my footing under piles of laundry, dog hair, and paperwork.

this past weekend, we left our home in a hurry to join our grieving family upstate after john's uncle passed away. luckily, my aunt, cousin, and mother all graciously offered to watch wyeth while we were gone. we came back after a long, emotional weekend late monday night, spent a few moments with our son before he drifted off into sleep. this week has been a busy work week for me and a particularly strenuous week for john, who has had 14 hour days only to come home and start his graduate schoolwork. and tonight i head out from work to my dear friend's wedding in cincinnati, only to leave my son again and my busy husband to figure out life on his own for four days. upon my return, john and i celebrate our two year anniversary and our son's first birthday; marvelous occasions, but occasions that require some planning, forethought, and TIME.

i'm drowning.

but then i stop and say a few silent prayers and a few deep breaths. i recognize that because i've been so blessed, i've been so busy. i am thankful to have had the opportunity to be with family, to attend my friend's wedding and be surrounded by my extended family of girlfriends, i am proud of my husband for going above and beyond to better our lives by working hard and attending school, and most of all i am forever indebted to the powers that be for my sweet, gracious little boy and his little sibling. gratitude abound.

.... but not enough time in the day. :)

weekly belly style, week 14

2011-05-19T06:27:00.000-07:00

here's a combination of last week and this week
as i was in albany for part of last week and will be in cincinnati for part of this week.

this is what 14 weeks pregnant with baby #2 looks like:

TUESDAY

Skirt: used to be a dress from OohLaLa

T-Shirt: Forever21

WEDNESDAY

Dress: F21

Cardigan: Old Navy

Belt: Target

THURSDAY

Oooh- this is the awkward "Is she pregnant or has she just let herself go?" phase. Ugh.

Jacket: Vintage

Tank: JCrew

Jeans: Oh Baby Maternity

And here's a little Wyeth in a swing:

i dream of nurseries

2011-05-18T05:28:00.000-07:00

when i was pregnant with wyeth, we had just moved into our home, we were trying to sort everything out, and we just threw together a lightly designed nursery. :)

the boy has a beautiful room, but it's nothing compared to the ultra-designed baby room's i've seen out there. these days, as we prepare for baby #2, i can't help but literally dream about nursery design. i'm currently in love with all things hot air balloon: which match wyeth's "theme" (boats, maps, adventure)... a necessary component since they'll share a room regardless of gender (more on that to come).

so here are some things i've been coveting:

etsy

wall decals via etsy

via etsy

3-D mobile via etsy

NOTE: my in-laws were actually in a hot-air balloon crash a few years ago. they might not like this theme, but i think the story represents just how awesome and adventurous and blessed we all are!

for mother's of girls

2011-05-12T13:08:00.000-07:00

raising women in our world is difficult, as i can only imagine. i've written about that here and here and here.

and cool mom picks just opened my eyes to this book, which i will certainly be reading on the nook

if baby 2 is in fact a little girl.

"Using her own experiences as a feminist mother trying to come to terms with a tiara-happy daughter (I can relate!), Orenstein's book is part lesson in gender politics, part fascinating marketing case study, and part laugh-out-loud conversation with your very clever friend over coffee who just happens to be grappling with the same issues you are right now." --Liz at Cool Mom Picks

unexpected proposal captured in central park!

2011-05-11T12:11:00.000-07:00

this photographer just happened to catch this couple's central park engagement. he writes:

I find that the best things in life are often unexpected.

I woke up this morning to a beautiful day in New York City. Rather than waste it, I decided to take my camera into Central Park and snap some photos. After putzing around for about an hour and taking some [rather lame] pictures, I decided to do a time-lapse of the Bethesda Fountain. Often a nice tourist spot, I figured I would get a cool looking time lapse of the crowd. I set my camera and my intervelometer to take a photo every 5 seconds. About a minute in though, it started to drizzle. I packed up my gear and headed home.

The time-lapse amounted to less than a half of a second when played back at normal speed. Not surprising since I only recorded a photo every 5 seconds for 1 minute. I was about to delete the sequence when something in my head said “review them before deleting.”

And that’s when I saw it. Directly in the middle of the frame, as if I had planned it: a man proposing to his girlfriend. 50 seconds. 10 pictures. A fleeting moment now relive-able.

I don’t know who this couple is or where they’re from. I don’t know if they’re New Yorkers or here on vacation. Finding them will be near impossible. But in this social world of Facebook and Twitter, I’m hoping we can track them down. This is something they should have.

amazing!

etsy finds: a study in pink & blue

2011-05-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

without noticing, all of my favorites from etsy were either pink or blue. so i went with it.

mama's got baby on the brain! (*we find out november baby's gender on 6/21!)

via etsy

via etsy (this has POCKETS!)

via etsy

via etsy (i'm not brave enough to wear a romper, but this is adorable!)

November Baby, Week 13

2011-05-10T08:00:00.001-07:00

Dear November Baby,

Welcome to our second trimester! We heard your glorious little heartbeat on Friday and I've listened to it countless times since. While you and my belly are growing, life is passing us by... and so sometimes I have to stop, put my hand on my belly, close my eyes, and thank God for you. We spend a lot of quick, quiet moments together: in the car on the way to work after I drop off your brother, in the shower as the warm water flows over us, in the first few moments of the morning when I'm awake but not yet ready to open my eyes. This is such an incredible time, Baby 2. We are so lucky to spend every single moment together, sharing the same breath, the same blood. It'll be so amazing to meet you, but until then, know that even though you gave me a run for my money with that morning sickness business the past few weeks, I am cherishing our shared experience now. Soon enough you'll be out in the world for all to share in your joy. Until then, I'll try to eat more vegetables and less Fruity Pebbles.

Love you, little Peach.
xo, mama

Baby Week 13 via the bump